Madness at London Men's Fashion Week

02:42, Jun 18 2013
Madness At London Men's Fashion Week
ALEXANDER MCQUEEN SPRING/SUMMER '14: There's nothing like some Pee Wee Herman hair to really offset your tuxedo singlet or lemon yellow statement cardigan-dress.
Madness At London Men's Fashion Week
ASTRID ANDERSEN SPRING/SUMMER 14: While the skin-tight white lace and floral leggings are an issue, yes, it's the reappearance of Teva-style sandals that are making my eyes bleed. Are you planning on traversing a rocky river in those jazzy white lace tights lads? No? Didn't think so. Then you don't need to be wearing European tourist sandals.
Madness At London Men's Fashion Week
KAY KWOK SPRING/SUMMER '14: These shoes are so bad (they're heeled so I bet Tom Cruise is really, really hoping they become a thing) I almost didn't notice that the dude on the right's wearing leather hot pants. Talcum powder sales are set to soar.
Madness At London Men's Fashion Week
JW Anderson Spring/Summer '14: Well this fills an obvious void in the men's fashion world: if I had a dollar for every time a guy friend has tried to steal one of my silk halters (particularly the floral ones).
Madness At London Men's Fashion Week
JW Anderson Spring/Summer '14: You know what the problem is, men's fashion is just too practical. They've got too few opportunities to have their arms pinned down in a useless piece of material disguised as a jacket, and their bags? Don't get me started. They can fit their wallet AND their keys in those satchel thingies. Thank goodness someone's come to the party with a man clutch.
Madness At London Men's Fashion Week
JW Anderson Spring/Summer '14: Oh and here there's not even the need for a bag as he's got a giant panty-liner pasted to his waist for any just-in-case moments.
Madness At London Men's Fashion Week
CRAIG GREEN SPRING/SUMMER 14: Here's what a Dazed & Confused fashion commentator had to say about these tie-dye monstrosities: "When Craig Green sent a tribe of faceless, psychedelic acid print covered sculptures down the runway I couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. Someone had finally done it. Craig had made the biggest possible statement about the underlying issues in British menswear."........................................ Sorry, I just had to slam my face into my desk, repeatedly.
Madness At London Men's Fashion Week
BOBBY ABLEY SPRING/SUMMER '14: One fashion 'expert' enthusiastically described these backpacks as "fetish teddies". Ew. That's disgusting.
Madness At London Men's Fashion Week
SIBLING SPRING/SUMMER '14: You certainly wouldn't want to discover you'd forgotten an extra pair of undies on a weekend away if these shorts were all you were packing.
Madness At London Men's Fashion Week
SIBLING SPRING/SUMMER '14: They just look SO comfortable.
Madness At London Men's Fashion Week
OLIVER SPENCER SPRING/SUMMER '14: What?! No plastic wedges? No teddies being tortured? Well-cut clothes that many men will actually wear? Tsk. How boundary-adhering and basic.
Madness At London Men's Fashion Week
JW ANDERSON SPRING/SUMMER '14: This poor fella' thought being a male model was all about partying with models and getting paid a few hundred bucks for an hour's work. No one told him he'd have to have his hair irreversibly permed and would likely develop a scalp irritation that itched for weeks after having a tub of Vaseline dumped on his head.

Plastic heels, crochet shorts and silk halter tops for guys - the fashion crowd was drinking the Kool Aid this week at London's Men's Collections for Spring/Summer '14. 

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