THE GLORIOUS: I really, really love this. Emma Stone's Valentino is delicate and feminine, but those stars stop it feeling too straightforward. She looks like the angel on top of a Christmas tree in about 1953, and I'm very into it.
THE GOOD: Brie Larson in Rodarte is an absolute triumph. She looks about seven feet tall, impossibly elegant, and also just really hot. Look at that smile in the middle picture. She knows it.
THE GOOD: If Zoe Saldana (or her husband, Marco Perego) secretly holds any horrifying beliefs, I hope we never find out. I want to keep loving them forever. Saldana's three-tone pink confection is from Gucci, and I realise it's probably a bit much for some tastes, but I think she looks incredible. Keeping the hair and makeup pared back was unquestionably the right call.
THE GOOD: What a goddess. Tracee Ellis Ross looks kind of like a very expensive light fitting, but in a good way - in an 'inspired by Beyonce' way. Her hair and makeup couldn't be more perfect and I'm losing it over those rings. Ross is wearing Zuhair Murad.
THE GREAT: I know there's a lot of sequins happening in here, and I know I'm a bit of a magpie, but can you please try and tell me Ruth Negga looks anything other than incredible? It can't be done. She's in Louis Vuitton.
THE GOOD: I am obsessed with every part of this. Priyanka Chopra is wearing Ralph Lauren, and she looks like a literal goddess. I'd wear the whole look if I had a life where that was possible, and I wouldn't change a thing.
THE GOOD: I'm so sorry, it's more sequins. But Millie Bobby Brown (of Stranger Things) is 12 years of age and looks more confident and sure of herself than most adults I know. Full marks.
THE MOSTLY: Amy Adams is wearing Tom Ford here, which makes sense as they just made a movie together. It's black and it's sequins, which are two massive pluses for me, but I'm not a hundred per cent on that square neckline. Thoughts?
THE YOU-TELL-ME: There's a lot here that I like in isolation - a deep V neck, sheer elements, a flowing skirt and a bit of a cape - but overall I'm finding Mandy Moore's gown a bit lacking. Is it just me? She's wearing Naeem Khan.
THE BAD: It's just my own opinion, but if your dress is so heavily embellished in the armpits that you can't lower your arms, it's a bad dress. Blake Lively is wearing custom Atelier Versace, and she looks incredibly uncomfortable. I'd lose the bangles and smooth out the draped armpit pieces.
THE NOT REALLY: Michelle Williams couldn't be cuter, and in 2006 she wore a Vera Wang gown to the Oscars that remains in my all-time top 10, but I'm not feeling this. It looks like those net curtains you have when your lounge is really close to the road and you don't want people to be able to watch you watching Showgirls for the fifteenth time. There's also a shoe string around her neck, so.
THE I GUESS: It's highly possible I've said this before (I'm the absolute worst for repeating stories) but my problem with Emily Ratajkowski is that because her body is so insane, and she technically can wear anything, she kind of does. This dress looks like a slightly more high-key version of what about half the girls at my school ball were wearing in 2007. Not into it. The gown is from Reem Acra.
THE BAD: Olivia Culpo is a pageant queen turned actress, and I'm wondering if that might explain what's going on here. She's had her fill of block colour, flattering dresses and wants to go wild. I respect the impulse, but I don't especially respect this dress.
THE WORST: Riley Keough is absolutely beautiful, but this dress is both perplexing and bad. What are any of those panels meant to be doing? Why are the sleeves attached to each other with a glittery piece of string, and also sliding off her shoulders? There are so many elements and none of them are good.