Bizarre men's fashion: Paris edition

02:37, Jan 18 2014
Paris Menswear Fashion
THE JAUNTY: While it was certainly refreshing to see some bright, block colours on a menswear runway at John Galliano, the execution was, well, how do we put this... slightly odd to say the least. That green and black jumper on the left reminds me so much of astroturf, I can't help but involuntarily twitch when I imagine patting the sleeve. Oh and I'm fairly sure that any male who could fit into those Wellington-themed skinny pants isn't exactly in need of the slimming black panels down the side. In regards to the look on the right? The model looks purely disgusted, enough said.
Paris Menswear Fashion
THE SHINY: More John Galliano, and more eyebrow raising outfits. Heads up gents: If you ever wanted to look like a smurf-Michelin Man-NFL linebacker hybrid, here's your chance. That metallic blue jacket is guaranteed to give you more impressive delts than you will ever achieve in the gym, as long as it's worn on top of numerous layers and paired with your girlfriend's gym leggings that is. I'm unsure what to even call that garment on the right - is it a roll-neck parka, a spaceman-inspired dress? Help me out here.
Paris Menswear Fashion
THE MESH-FACE: Shock, horror - crazy face covers aside, some of these garments actually look slightly normal. Well if you discount the orange and blue protractor-themed shirt, and that strange vest meets eskimo piece in the middle, oh and the tie-dyed hoody and leather trackie ensemble is a tad strange as well. So basically everything... Ah well, I tried.
Paris Menswear Fashion
FUR FIENDS: Wearing leather trackies, a full length rabbit fur coat and a too-cool-for-school expression, Kanye West supported designer Ricardo Tisci at the Givenchy show. Meanwhile, uber-stylist Carine Roitfeild kept it chic in multi-coloured fur and a pencil skirt.
Paris Menswear Fashion
KEEPING UP APPEARANCES: Why, oh why would you possibly wear such a garish turtle-neck under that beautiful suit Will? The American actor hung out with Lily Allen at the Maison Martin Margiela show.
Paris Menswear Fashion
THE OTT: While I'm generally a fan of oversized parkas in that nomadic-adventurer sort of way, this mullet-hemmed denim atrocity just isn't quite doing it for me. Perhaps it's the fact that the model has been given the near impossible task of pulling of triple denim, or maybe it's just those ridiculous sleeves - either way it ain't good. On the other hand, I'm practically dying over the blazer on the right, but probably not in the way the designer intended it. You see, I could quite easily see it fitting into my own wardrobe, but my signifcant other's? Nope, nope, definitely not. And don't even get me started on those floral jeggings.
Paris Menswear Fashion
THE CASE OF THE DISAPPEARING NECKS: I can just imagine the kind of reaction I would get if I offered to lend my brother and his mates my sheepskin lined leather vest, envelope clutch bag or two-toned pants... their faces would probably look something like the two unfortunate male models here.

Ahhhh, the menswear runways - where the trousers are never too skinny and the accessories are never functional.

Models, celebrities and unintentionally amusing garments were on full display at this week's fall-winter 2014 menswewar shows in Paris - with Kanye West parading around in rabbit fur at Givenchy and Will Smith and Lily Allen in attendance at Maison Martin Margiela.

Let the fun begin...

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