The week's best & worst dressed celebs
THE BAD: This is very Josie Grossie prom flashback in Never Been Kissed. The low-point of Alyssa Milano's cheap-looking dress is that waterfall of material that looks like someone designed the dress and then found a tutu in a trashcan and was like, 'ooh, I'll just pop that on for good measure'. Also, Alyssa's so beautiful, but I think this makeup is also a fail - pink lip and orange and grey eyeshadow should never be a possible description for a beauty look.
THE BAD: I think Big Ang needs to go on a weekend seminar called 'How to dress for your shape'. I can't think of much else to say because I'm totally mesmerised by that one shiny nipple (and how much it looks like the lamps in the background).
THE BAD: Coco Rocha is a bit of a Tilda Swinton in that all fashion critics love everything she does. She could jump into the Wellington harbour and drape all the trash she encounters over her naked body and then walk the carpet and they'd all be ... 'ooh, avant garde ... I've got GOOSIES!' but no. This JPG dress is just ugly. And unflattering. Vociferous full stop.
THE BAD: There's no one thing that's terrible about Ireland Baldwin's look (well, maybe the hair) but it is the definition of over-cooked. She's only 18 folks ... this is too much makeup for someone that hasn't hit two decades yet. Nay, it's too much makeup for anyone. Lips or eyes folks. Lips or eyes. PS: The dress (read: nightie) is by Reformation.
THE BAD: I do love Joan Rivers (check how she looks gobby even when captured in still images) but no one can wear not one, but two, dead animals and look good.
THE BAD: I'd like to present Tan Mom - aka Patricia Krentcil without comment - well, except for the fact that, at 45 (Sandra Bullock's 49 y'all) she's the best advertisement for sunscreen the world has. Ooh, and one more thing, achieving a pink frosted lip without actually allowing any lippie to touch your lips is quite a feat.
THE BEST: Cate Blanchett makes this Givenchy dress look about <a href="http://prafulla.net/wp-content/sharenreadfiles/2013/10/510666/Givenchy-Spring-Summer-2014-Paris-Fashion-Week-2.jpg" target="_blank">a million times better than it did on the runway (oi model, you've got a little something on your fah-chay). </a>I love her messy-chic hair, super-dig the cut and cascading colour of this gown and adore how it's just-different-enough. Pro.
THE GOOD: If you described this dress to me - a plum-coloured jersey skivvy-necked gown with a train and a below-boob cut out - I'd probably ellicit the exact noise picture number seven made me spontaneously sputter out... but, actually, this Michael Costello gown looks perfect on Delta Goodrem. That is definitely her colour and the dress hugs her body in a very loving way.
THE GOOD: Trust Gwyneth Paltrow to make sequinned Prada look all effortless and natural. I wouldn't change a thing here (I love how her barely-there makeup keeps the whole look fresh). I'd also like to point out that she's only four years younger than the woman in picture seven (right ... I'm off to buy some chia seeds or whatever green muck is of the moment).
THE GOOD: While I'm not the hugest fan of Naomie Harris' shoes in this context, I just adore this Naeem Khan flapper dress on her. It's fresh, and she deserves a big slow clap for pulling off yellow fringe.
THE GOOD: Olga Kurylenko is one of the few celebs forced to wear Dior most of the time that actually usually makes it work. I love this update on a '60s silhouette and am so jealous she can pull off bright yellow (put me in this shade and I look like a jaundiced baby with gigantism. Hawt).
THE GOOD: Lily Aldridge shows us plebs why she gets paid to wear clothes by making this hard-to-pull off top-skirt combo by Rosie Assoulin look like a work of art. I love her Marc Allary necklace and that she's wearing no other jewellery. I also love that middle part bun on her (heads up though, most of us mere mortals suit a part that's at least a little off centre - I look like Leelee Sobeiski after dental surgery with a middle part. CHEEKS!).
In our weekly best & worst dressed gallery we bring you the horrors and the hits from the week in red carpets - we only cover events where celebrities know they'll be snapped and critiqued for their fashion (so no Britney leaving Maccas in her trackies.) Why? Well because all humans - even celebs - should be allowed to look rubbish while packing a Quarter Pounder.
This week the bests dazzle - Cate, Gwyneth, Delta we're looking at you - while the worsts are just, well, disturbing.