The most ridiculous new fashion terms
Word abuse from the mouths of fashion people is something we're used to, but that does not make it okay.
We have fashion to thank for pointing out problems we never knew we had (see also: the pencil test, bikini bridge and back dimples), before pushing products designed to fix them.
Our latest unwarranted body gripe? Sleevage. Just in case you hadn't given enough thought to the perkiness of your breast-profile, 'sleevage' refers to the unwanted bulge of fat that peeks out from the side of tops and dresses.
Basically, it's the arm version of the muffin top (though personally, we prefer J-Law's term for it, 'armpit vaginas'.
The sideboob trend has seen sleevage at an all-time high. Thank God we have new bra 'technology' - with inspired names such as 'On Your Side' and 'No Side Effects' - for extra support and maintaining your womanly propriety.
According to the internet, dressing like your parents at Expo '88 is now a look to aspire to. Enter 'normcore', the anti-fashion movement that celebrates anonymity and says that the less distinct your style, the more stylish you are.
Barack Obama, Larry David, sitcom-era Jerry Seinfeld and the late Steve Jobs have been cited as proto-normcore icons, inspiring high-fashion looks reminiscent of your dad's free T-shirt collection.
When we first caught drift of 'normcore', our inner slackers rejoiced at the thought of resurrecting our university sweatshirts and bumming around in thick tube socks and pool slides for the rest of our days.
Unfortunately, we soon learnt that dressing 'normcore' only works if you're cool and plugged-in in the first place. Fall short of this requirement and you're just, well, normal. And there's nothing worse than being normal.
The use of 'boyfriend dressing' to denote a baggier trou style always elicits eye-rolls on our end, but now there's a second gross descriptor intent on pushing the lame, sizeist, heteronormative agenda. Enter 'girlfriend dressing'.
As with its predecessor, 'girlfriend dressing' propagates very exact notions of how men and women should dress as dictated by their gender.
Want a boyfriend? Takeaway point from this trend report is that you ought to be wearing more frills, flowers, fuchsia and "ruffled knickerbockers".
According to a recent press releases, designers no longer 'dress' celebrities for red carpet events - they 'wardrobe' them.
Verbing, that time-honoured trick of coining new words out of old ones, is a nasty habit your English teacher would've thrown the duster at.
Anna Wintour coined it and everyone from J-Crew's Jenna Lyons and Reese Witherspoon made use of it.
The trending hashtag, picked up by many a style-savvy digital native, shows no sign of slowing down.
With snaps of handbags already riddled with captions "#fashion #street #streetstyle #streetfashion #haute #inspiration #dailyinspiration #highfashion #fashionista #luxury #fashionicon #fashionlover #fashionblogger #blogger #fashionshow #vogue #couture #fashiongram #bloggerstyle #style #trendsetter #bloggerfashion #fashionigers #streetchic #fashionaddict #nyfw #pfw ;#mfw" - we fear another add-on will just confuse things further.
This #madeup #tagging #madness shows no sign of stopping.
Bloggers have given birth to a wealth of silly portmanteaus - 'The Recessionista' comes immediately to mind - but none are sillier than 'femiman'.
Defined by the always-reliable Urban Dictionary as, "One who is born a male yet is constantly mistaken for a woman", it's become a label attached to many a designer's male muse and androgynous models such as Andrej Pejic. At least it beats being referred to as a'thing'.
- Daily Life