The week's best & worst dressed celebrities
THE BAD: Mel B has been looking amazing lately, yes, but this Walter Mendez dress really takes the smooshed-boobs, 'hidden mesh' look to a new level of hideousness - and that's a feat. How? Well the fact that the we-must-put-more-mesh-somewhere thigh panels make her look like she's sporting a loin cloth.
THE BAD: Here's Analeigh Tipton in Ulyana Sergeenko Couture. COUTURE?! I literally struggle sewing on a button and even I could construct something akin to this with some safety pins and a belt. I loved Analeigh in Crazy Stupid Love (remember, she's the babysitter that crushes on Steve Carell - and can you blame her?) and in America's Next Top Model (cycle 11 was the last season I managed to binge watch on YouTube before my hatred of Tyra's long pauses just got too much). But I think she's just made the worst bra-for-top choice in the history of humans wearing clothes. What was the thought process here? And to think she looked like <a href="http://www.justjared.com/photo-gallery/2820531/analeigh-tipton-willa-holland-elton-john-oscars-party-2013-01/" target="_blank">THIS </a>at the same party last year.
THE BAD: While I do love the colour of this Maria Lucia Hohan gown it does also highlight the need to be subtle on the tango tan when wearing tangerine (it's like she's draped her entire person in Valentino's skin). Mono-tone over-tan aside, American Hustle actress Elisabeth Rohm (who I've always thought looks like Julianne Hough's big sis or hot aunty) has also fallen victim to what sockette-style mesh does to side boob: contorting and smooshing the ladies just like an old woman's stocking <a href="http://coupcult.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/stocking.jpg" target="_blank">does to a bank robber's nose.</a> Mmm... sexy.
THE BAD: How does one even get into this Nicholas Jebran gown that Swimsuit Illustrated model, possible candidate to become Tom Cruise's girlfriend and star of Big Momma's House II (great sequel) Jessica White is wearing? I feel like if Miss Jay was the costume designer on John Carter, he'd have dressed the awesome warrior princess Dejah Thoris in this. 'So practical. So easy to move around in. So DYNAMIC.' And that's no offence to Miss Jay - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zrvxi1-3SDY" target="_blank">he can snap his way into my heart any day</a> - he's just got a very un-sci-fi-meets-western-movie aesthetic.
THE BAD: Oh Mamie, what in the Gummer is this?! It's like the Dowager Countess as styled by Helena Bonham Carter and Parker Posey in a collab'. But NO it's actually Valentino.
THE BAD: <a href="http://www.aahairstyle.com/wp-content/uploads/updo-hairstyle-from-paz-de-la-huerta-1.jpg" target="_blank">Considering what she looked like just a few years ago,</a> I think it's safe to say Boardwalk Empire actress Paz De La Huerta is having a tough time of it. So let's present this without comment.
THE BAD: I detest anything that restricts a person's arms - surely it just kind of goes against one of the main requirements for clothes? And Rihanna's really taken that whole game to a new level with this Lanvin look. It's like she's got Grumpy Cat strapped to her chest. She's a weirdo cat lady who takes her kitty everywhere she goes and so just straps on a Baby Bjorn bespoke-designed for cats. "Oh heeey Cara. Oh, excuse me, Smukins is hungry."
THE GOOD: Now this is how a woman wears orange (you'll see what I mean when you get to the bads - also, take note how superior front boob is to side boob). Anywho, I dislike those shoes (they look like something from a Paris Hilton diffusion line) but nothing can take away from the triumph that is Angela Bassett, 56, in this bold orange dress. 56?! I pick that there's some Dorian Gray shiz going down here.
THE GOOD: Proving the classic gem of a style tip that redheads should wear green, Scandal actress Darby Stanchfield looks stunning in this Carolina Herrera gown. It's very ball gown but somehow not try-hard - no need for crisis management here.
THE BEST: Wow, Evan Rachel Wood nails old Hollywood glamour in this Elie Saab gown (and to think a year ago she was wearing Ronald McDonald's work boots <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/fashion/8218536/Best-and-worst-dressed-of-the-week" target="_blank">- picture six).</a> Timeless, beautiful, shimmery. Ooh, <a href="http://www.theplace2.ru/archive/evan_rachel_wood/img/evan-rachel-wood-behind-the-ca.jpg" target="_blank">remember this look?</a>
THE GOOD: Super funny actress Kathryn Hahn has inspired me to wear my neon pink lippie - girlfriend is working it - she's also making tidy work of this brocade Bibhu Mohapatra dress (who knew something so resembling overpriced Designers Guild curtains could look so good). Love it and love her (well, she does always play the bestie).
THE GOOD: Hot dang, primary colours have never looked so good. Lupita Nyong'o rocks this Stella McCartney dress, and, for me, the look is absolutely made thanks to that bold blue eyeshadow (unfortch' I tend to look more like this <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_T8jmzzBIK-Y/SoyJTGbrDXI/AAAAAAAAEnA/2ijLhtn7Kus/s1600-h/yardley+cosmetics+ad+mademoiselle+june+1972+blue+eye+shadow.jpg" target="_blank">like this,</a> <a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?sa=X&biw=1280&bih=963&tbm=isch&tbnid=GP40TYJ74sNNCM%3A&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fmakeup.wonderhowto.com%2Fhow-to%2Fpull-off-blue-eyeshadow-298955%2F&docid=vEYiMCR4BoW9iM&imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.wonderhowto.com%2Fimg%2F53%2F05%2F63475806386674%2F0%2Fpull-off-blue-eyeshadow.1280x600.jpg&w=1280&h=600&ei=n_MXU_zICI-AkgWB4YGwCA&zoom=1&ved=0CIQBEIQcMBA&iact=rc&dur=608&page=1&start=0&ndsp=32" target="_blank">nay this</a> when I try for blue peepers).
In our weekly best & worst dressed gallery we bring you the horrors and the hits from the week in red carpets - we only cover events where celebrities know they'll be snapped and critiqued for their fashion (so no Britney leaving Maccas in her trackies.) Why? Well because all humans - even celebs - should be allowed to look rubbish while packing a Quarter Pounder.
This week, we haven't touched upon any
Oscars looks as they're all here, and many of the parties as some of those looks are here.