Measure your sexiness

I snooped into Runway Shoes over the weekend to perve and dribble on and lick the new Stella McCartney range. My eyeballs dropped on discovery of this nude shoe, and for one of the few times in my life I was confused. In a world of intense shoe love or hate there is usually no middle ground to my extremes. But here I was on the fence. Did I like this shoe? On the one hand the design was great, but on the other it was the tone of flesh, and worst of all - it had a kitten heel.

My veiny foot in Stella McCartney kitten heels in Runway. Sexual or sensible?

In a world of fabulous fluff, neon, sparkles, short skirts and designer gears, sky-high heels live. They're a prerequisite for a chic outfit, and they add a kickass punch of sexy to anything from sparkly panties to slobby grey trackpants. They are a power pack of bottom-shaping goodness, and some say (Christian Louboutin among them) that they are sculptural icons that hint at eroticism. They are, in fact, about the only skerrick of sexy I wear.

So if high heels are the epitome of sexy, where do kitten heels fit in the mix?

In Tauranga? At the pensioners bridge club? At your third form dance? Or in fashion?

The shoes as seen on the runway at Stella McCartney ss2012.

It doesn't take a dummy to notice kitten heels invading our consciousness (and our net-a-porter). But what of it? Is Stella saying that kittens are in?  And it's not just her, a whole heap of other designers are saying it too.


Clockwise from top left: Alexander Wang, Miu Miu, Nicholas Kirkwood and Dries van Noten.

The inevitable here is to compare the kitten to high heels. If we were to put them head to head with the butt-lifting skyscrapers, how would they fare? In the realm of sexy, where do kittens sit? At a willy-shrivelling 1, or right up there at a drooling googling 10? Can sexiness be measured in inches?

And a more affordable collection: Clockwise from top left - Number One Shoes $39.99, Hannahs $59.99, Diana Ferrari about $120 from Styletread, and Robert Robert, about $200 from Styletread.

What say you, dear reader? Are kitten heels Timaru or Tokyo? Milton or Milan? Does sexy sit at one inch or six?

How does the poor kitten fare?

I value your thoughts, throw them at me!