I have sore balls. They are bruised and aching. You filthy thing! Get those naughty thoughts out of your head! I have the sore balls that many women suffer - from running about in heels. Four long days of shoots, meetings and practically sprinting like a madwoman across streets, down stairs and up escalators all the while wearing stupidlyfabulously high stiletto heels.
There's a certain clitoral macho involved in wearing high heels. Men measure their toughness in kg's of steel lifted in the gorilla pit at the gym, how many beers they can throw down their gullet in an hour, and how much horsepower their vehicles have under the hood. We measure ours in millimetres and inches - the amount of inches high your heels are, and the teeny amount of millimetres the width of the stiletto. It's a "my heels are bigger than your heels" sort of world; women who enter this crazy club become like bodybuilders in their attitude. "Look at all you puny things down there in your puny slubby heels. My stupid brave suffering makes me so worthy" (Opus Dei anyone?). This mad game of subconscious competition is the reason we suffer, the reason we put up with sore balls. Bruised balls become a badge of merit like the notches in a player's belt. What then, when the fashion tables turn and thick (shudder) block heels storm the catwalks, and threaten to become the trend du jour?
Rodarte spring 2013, all images via style.com.
The footwear emerging from New York Fashion Week proves to do just that. We still have London, Milan and Paris to go yet, but all fingers are pointing toward block heels for the next few seasons of trendy heel design. But if sky-high, needle-thin stiletto heels are the epitome of female macho, bravado and ultimate sex appeal, where then does the block heel sit?
Rag & Bone spring 2013.
New York tried to let it be believed that gone are the days of the matron block heel. Schoolmarm and block heel are no longer entwined in our thoughts, thanks to the plethora of interesting options presented on the American runways. Such was the range of great footwear on offer, I may even consider entertaining the idea that these new block heels might measure up even remotely near to the appeal of the stiletto.
Alexander Wang spring 2013.
This may be the case that we scrap the clitoral macho, and scrap sexy. The word we need in order to describe this not necessarily fair trend, I say, is COOL. There ain't no pain involved in wrangling these fullas, but there's definitely a drop or two of attitude. What say you?
Closer to home and a fair offering is brewing in stores as we speak. Be entertained. Hold tight to your wallet.
In order: 1 - $59.99 Number One Shoes. 2 - $199.99 RMK from Hannahs. 3 - $340 Hailwood for MiPiaci. 4 - $399 Chaos & Harmony. 5 - $240 MiPiaci. 6 - $49.99 Number One Shoes.
While we cannot deny the onslaught of this trend toward our eyeballs, I do ask you this: Can block heels be sexy? Tough? Impressive? Guys? Girls? What say you?
Oh - and one more thing. With spring springing and all, I've been thinking it may be time (soon) to begin talking swimwear. What are some of the dramas/problems you have with shopping for swimwear? Send me the questions you'd like answered in the comments below! You'll need to register for commenting from now on but don't worry, it's really easy!