Lessons in layering: summer edition

People who wear layers look sophisticated. True story. Scrap the fact that Comme des Garcons' Rei Kawakubo took her famous layering inspiration from the homeless bag ladies in New York City - they be chic in their own way too. As them bag ladies can attest, it's all good and well done in winter - there's a bloody good reason for it - but summer poses a few problems. 

Trekking the length of Queen Street no matter how chic you may look ain't a pretty sight when your pits are pouring and your inner thighs are chafing with sweat. Layering be hard in summer. Or so you might think. I give you two lessons in layering for the fabrically challenged. Shall we begin?

Ain't that sweet? Take lightweight underlayers that are short. In simple attire looking like a tweenage twaddle at a sleepover party, we have a basic T from Dotti, and Lonely Hearts shorties. Innocent enough, right?

Add shoes:

Alexander Wang heels from Workshop. Wear what you like on your phalanges but the more tough bitch the better to counteract the DVD-watching attire. 

A girly outfit like this calls for a touch of masculinity (in addition to my legs) to really get things going:

Add 1x man's shirt that is light in weight. This one be from Savemart or some-such secondhand store. Its origins lie at Ralph Lauren.

And finally no layering is complete without a touch of crazy:

Add a mid-air leap and a printed jacket that hurts your eyes and shrivels diddles. This one you've seenbefore from Asos.

Got it? Again again, you cry? OK I'll oblige, but just for you:

Take one virginal springish dress. Twirl like a spinning top and giggle and smirk at the bell-shaped skirt as it spins. This hails from Lonely Hearts.

For ease of the situation I wear the same shoes, but do add something bitchy on your feet to counteract the sweetness on your bod. Looking fine to me., but needs something more.

See that black strip running down the side of the dress in the first shot? It undoes. Perfect for flashing your knickers to passers by, or in this case for inserting offensively bold eyesores underneath. Nicholas Morely sequined miniskirt, for a flash of crazy when you walk or dance, or when the wind does a Marilyn on your dress.

Not content to stop there, we add another touch of bitchiness in the form of a seemingly holey designer T-shirt. This one was from Melbourne, but I have since made my own with a plain T-shirt, a pair of scissors and a bottle of wine lurking in my insides. Remind the world you have a waist with a contrasting belt, and then frown as the photographer laughs at the star print peeping through round your nipples.

Now it wouldn't be a success without a touch of bold colour. So far we have sweet girly, bitchy, and grungey in this outfit; we need a bit of primary school. An anorak should do the trick. This is Lonely Hearts and the trim matches the pink shorts in the first lesson.

If you're not content to stop there, then you can push the envelope with a school backpack in a hot-right-now hue like fluoro. This one happens to be from The Warehouse and costs a mere $10.

Now go to school:


Don't forget your lunch!


P.S: I'm playing with all this Lonely Hearts gear because they've just launched their online store and they're feeling gooey in the heart and kind. Kind enough to offer free NZ-wide shipping on all orders with no minimum purchase. And as it's their own, the store stocks the full range of Lonely lingerie, and they now do sizing up to a D cup to fit every jug. And best of all, new stock drops in every week from now until Christmas. Which gives you four weeks to choose which knickers you want your man to buy, and leave the page open on his desktop. Did I just say that? Oops.

Have a stylish Monday.