I'm all dressed up. Well, I was all dressed up yesterday, with nowhere to go. So I went home and swept out my carport while still wearing my party outfit. A lady walked by and stared - apparently I was a "well dressed sweeper". I should bloody hope so!
But then I'm the woman who dresses up to do the household chores. Hair wrapped in a turban, hoop earrings in and mouth lined with red lipstick, I dance and sing to Beyonce and other colourful divas. I figure if you have to do some rubbish jobs in your life, you may as well feel fabulous doing them. Same goes for New Year's Eve. Anything in life that has so much expectation and wind-up involved always ends up crappier than you imagined it to be. Sorry kiddies. Which I'm sure is why people dress up for the big occasion - at least you'll still look good whilst vomiting in that gutter and realising that another year has just gone by and you're yet another year older and no more sensible for it.
But not to put a downer on an already down event, I'm really here to talk about what one might wear to an event (or events) like this. It's a time to put your glad rags on, feel festive, find a random boy and snog him when the clock strikes 12 and then never see him again. A party frock is a party frock, right? It is if you have a penchant for skater dresses so short that they flash your bits. Personally I like to think outside my box and look to the runways not the skating rink for inspiration. And at a time like this when New Year's is about to come rolling by, I'm thinking texture. Tassels, feathers, raffia, tulle, sparkles, lace, I don't care as long as it's not boring.
Because in a time and place where the majority of skin about you will be covered either in drapings of Karen Walker or in lashings of Glassons, it's nice to know you tried to look different. Provided nobody else who reads my blog is at your New Year's party, that is. So without further ado, I give you three textural looks for a festive event:
Specimen one. Think of it as a tribute to the a distant hula girl on a faraway island. Now the clown skirt with matching clown face is by Sass & Bide but was got for $30 down from $500 in a sale. Some things in life just don't make sense, but as noted later by a friend of mine, "Perhaps it was marked down by so much because it's so ugly nobody bought it." All the better to shock you with, my dear. The T-shirt is a DIY job. Take one tee, go to Spotlight. Apply two epaulettes worth of tassles. Add removable shoulder pads if you wish. The End.
If black is more your bag then give this look a whirl. It's boring black, Steve, but not as you know it. Take one shirt with interesting sheer sections. This one is by young Kiwi designer Lucy McIntosh, and I swear I ironed it for you, it's just the sort of fabric that creases a lot. If you have a penchant for belly button exposure then you could wear this one without a singlet underneath, but I'd much rather flash my lunch instead:
Skirts this short are great for lying spreadeagled in gutters vomiting, because at least people will remember you when they walk by. The skirt is from what I believe to be a Savemart store, bought for the princely sum of $2. We be High Rolling.
On to Specimen three, and finally a trousered option for those not so lunch-flashing inclined:
A plain shirt, you say? Where be the texture? Ay, but here lies the rub. Rub my back and you'll see:
Texture... and along with the rubbery trou make for a whipstaggering dance-floor combo - the legs get clammy and sweaty, but there's ventilation up top to cool you. Shirt by - rather astonishing for me - Tigerlily. The brand is pumping out some really great stuff at the moment, so much so that I bought this, and then went back the following week and bought a dress as well. But wait guys, you thought it was coming to an end, but there's more:
No texture post be complete without the famous pubic hairy shoes!
And before I leave you, a few textural garments worthy of thrashing on the dance floor:
Happy Monday everyone!