Sauce for the goose

I cook dinner for tens of thousands of people each year and so it should be easy to get one eight-year-old boy to swallow one teaspoon of medicine that would make him feel better after a very severe bout of flu.

Day one of the medicine was compulsory, as the beloved eight-year-old was on his death bed and anything was better than nothing as far as he was concerned. By day two, he was feeling better (must have been the jelly and ice-cream) and then: "Because I am feeling better, I am no longer sick, so therefore I do not have to take my medicine."

Mr Eight-year-old is now refusing to take anything. Mum and Dad threaten to take Mr Eight-year-old to the hospital so that the doctor can inject him with his medicine if he is not going to take it orally. As we march up to the doors Mr Eight-year-old is making as much noise as the building team demolishing the old hospital. Within 10 minutes a male nurse has shown Mr Eight-year-old the largest needle he can find and measured his bottom to see if it will fit. He is wide-eyed and eager to prove that he can take his medicine when told.

Taking medicine is now like feeding him tomato sauce.

In the 1930s, tomato sauce in America was reputed to cure anything from baldness to athletes foot. The HJ Heinz company rooted out scientific studies which claimed that tomatoes had antioxidants which were beneficial in preventing cancers. While that is true, the carotenoid known as lycopene occurs in such small quantities, the benefits are pretty much nil.

Five other uses for tomato sauce

Shine your copper. Whether you have copper-bottomed cooking pans, architectural detailing, or shiny knick-knacks, forget mucking about with costly and potentially toxic metal polish pastes.

Get those auto parts gleaming. The condiment does a good job cutting tarnish.

Fight skunk odours. Many people still swear by tomato juice – handy!

Get back prettier hair after chlorine damage. Smoosh it in, let it linger for 20 minutes and wash out thoroughly.

Soothe wounds. Apparently even the mere appearance of packets of ketchup can make the hurt go away.

- The Marlborough Express