Furry Friday: The Pet Olympics
No need to specify which stroke Dodo is doing. She seems unimpressed with her effort.
It's time to give fair coverage to the Pet Olympics. We did it four years ago, but few other outlets paid any attention. Not enough money in it, I suppose.
At the Pet Olympics our furry companions line up to show their skills in pet-centric events. The motto is not "Faster, Higher, Stronger" - that's for us ambitious, vainglorious humans. For pets, the stirring motto is "Food, Sleep, Play".
So scroll down for some superb sporting moments, cute pets that are all champions in their owners' eyes, a bit of silliness and a couple of daddish puns. It's only every four years, after all.
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Nina excelled at the water polo, though the multiple balls complicated things. No weirdly green water here...
Not all competitors approved of the aquatic facilities. Poppy staged a solo sit-in.
A commentator's nightmare: another Poppy. This Poppy shook off a shock loss in the pool and left some officials soaked.
Louie dominated in the diving, and in the rapid exiting of the pool.
A blue-ribbon event is always the Synchronised Sleeping. Gus and Digby won but, sadly, slept through the medal ceremony.
In the Synchronised Cuteness event, Noodle and Toodle won the gold moodle - er, medal.
Still with the technically demanding Cuteness discipline, the teams event was taken out by Jacko, Krystal and Rocko.
The Individual Cuteness title went to Lotte, despite claims she'd received illegal pre-event injections of pure cuteness.
Bella is under an injury cloud. Medics are working on it.
Cully felt a little deflated after a technical error in ball management.
There was delay in the agility arena when Kita and Mabel abandoned their event in pursuit of a nugget of duck poo.
Multi-event star Gwen shone in the cycling, despite being less than happy with the design of her saddle.
Gwen again, this time in the Clothesline final. She nailed her routine with a four-paw dismount.
Tennis exponent Bella cut up rough when an umpire's call went against her.
Syveta failed to defend her Cat Tunnel title, due to an untimely loss of focus.
Kismet was supreme on the High Fence, rebutting critics who felt his lack of tail might be a competitive hindrance.
What Phoebe lacked in expressiveness she made up for in technique.
Yet another Poppy, who showed promise in her floor routine but let herself down with an ill-timed fart.
This is Taco, rehearsing for the Ribbon event in artistic gymnastics. Officials are obliged to keep many, many ribbons on hand.
Rosie is favourite in the Couch Individual Freestyle. Rules state that athletes must occupy the entire couch while staying within reach of a standard remote control.
A new sport this Games is Shoe Destruction. The rules are complex but it's a high-scoring spectacle. Toby is a leading exponent.
Still with Shoe Destruction, Nero competes in the pairs event. Full destruction may take as much as five days including sleeping breaks, so it's just like cricket.
Jasper has won hearts as a leading ball boy. His matches are best watched in time-lapse.
This event is known as Fetch. It is divided into four quarters: Chase, Lose, Find, and Give Up. This is Roscoe, late in the third quarter.
In the proud sport known as Tearing Things Up, all species can compete, Here are highlights from Hollie, Jack Smith, Muttley and Monty.
Max won gold in the Tail Dressage.
Pita and Bracken, joint champions in Play Fighting, brought glory to the Dalmatian nation.
The wrestling match between Morgan and Henry consisted of 40 minutes of loud posturing and a one-second swipe (not shown).
The sport of Zoomies is a crowd favourite. Asha, the Simone Biles of the Zoomies, kept us all absorbed.
Finally, we must pay tribute to Stevie. He's added so much expertise to the TV commentary team.