The 51 things you should never do at work

AIMIE CRONIN
Last updated 10:08 15/10/2013
Modern manners
FAIRFAX NZ

Don’t, EVER, say ‘‘I shouldn’t be here today, I feel so sick.’’

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Do you work in an open-plan office? Here's how to make it a nicer environment for everyone concerned.

1. Don't think out loud.

2. Don't talk too loud.

3. Don't walk too loud.

4. Don't laugh too loud.

5. Don't go on holiday and leave dirty dishes on your desk.

6. Don't interrupt.

7. Don't cough without covering your mouth.

8. Don't steal pens.

9. Don't stand too close.

10. Don't argue in the middle of the office.

11. Don't eat smelly lunches at your desk.

12. Don't talk to someone if she has headphones on.

13. Don't email someone with a complaint if he is in the same office.

14. Don't ask your neighbour what he earns.

15. Don't talk continuously.

16. Don't have an annoying ringtone. Don't walk away from your cellphone so that said ringtone interrupts everyone in the office over and over and OVER.

17. Don't complain all day.

18. Don't ask for help doing something if you haven't tried doing it yourself first.

19. Don't wander over to someone's desk and pick his or her things up.

20. Don't borrow something from someone's desk when they are not there.

21. Don't walk too slowly in the corridors.

22. Don't walk too fast and panic people.

23. Don't leave dirty tissues on your desk. Or anywhere, ever.

24. Don't burp. Don't fart. Don't sniff. Don't hoik. Don't chew too loudly.

25. Don't yell at a colleague across the room.

26. Don't communicate even the smallest piece of information to someone when he is on the phone.

27. Don't walk past your colleagues in the hallway and ignore them.

28. Don't play anything on your computer without plugging headphones in.

29. Don't ignore the cleaner who is emptying out your rubbish.

30. Don't criticise an employee in the middle of an open plan office.

31. Don't talk too personally to a family member on the phone at your desk.

32. Don't click your pen.

33. Don't make statements like "Oh my god!" all the time so that people around you constantly feel like they gave to ask what's wrong.

34. Don't sigh.

35. Don't take office pranks too far.

36. Don't print out a novel and not refill the paper tray.

37. Don't wear too much perfume.

38. Don't forget basic hygiene.

39. Don't sing to yourself.

40. Don't have in-jokes with one colleague that alienate everyone else sitting around you.

41. Don't fail to tell people if they have food on their face or something in their teeth or their skirt hiked up or their fly undone.

42. Don't talk in a normal voice, then start whispering when you are gossiping about a colleague - as if no one can hear you.

43. Don't accept chewing gum or lollies but never share your own.

44. Don't stare.

45. Don't listen in on your neighbours' phone conversations and comment when they hang up.

46. Don't bring your sick children to work if they are contagious or can't keep quiet.

47. Don't hang things in your space that encroach on your neighbour's space.

48. Don't always forget things and have to borrow off other people.

49. Don't, EVER, say "I shouldn't be here today, I feel so sick."

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50. Don't hustle colleagues for money every time your child has a fundraiser at school.

51. Don't always complain about being at work when the weather is so nice outside.

- Fairfax Media

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