This week we're obsessed with ...
THIS JOKE: Mariah Carey, aka Mimi, has got me through many tough times ... 'I can't sleep at NIGHT ... when you're on my MIND ... Bobby Womack's on the radiOOOO'. And this joke from the diva herself may just be the greatest 10 seconds in the history of man.
THIS GUY: Oh Giorgio ... you're so dreamy ... you make ordering fast food so classy. Last time I was at a drive thru I was dressed in a hoodie and trackpants (which both happened to be grey and pilled) and could barely manage uttering 'number six super sized' without losing my kebab from the night before. I was, however, like Giorgio, in the passenger seat -- no state to drive. Check out what I'm on about here.
THIS EYESHADOW PALETTE: I'm not a huge fan of eye 'palettes' as I tend to use the two colours I like and end up with a half-used product that still has the blaring 'on-trend' aqua and tangerine in it. This four-step smoky plum eye palette from The Body Shop ($50) is next level however, as all of the colours are wearable and well-pigmented, and they all work together. It even comes with the brushes you need to apply the whole thing and a step-by-step guide on the back (I don't use it exactly as per the instructions, but they're handy to have).
THESE SHORTS: I'm a huge Jay Z fan-girl (in fact, when he released that Picasso Baby 'performance art' video packed with hipster celebs I watched it about 20 times in one day - sad, yes, but also glorious) but I cannot get on board with his new much-anticipated collection for NY superstore Barneys. Why? Well, because aside from the $912 plain black T shirt in the line 'masterminded' by Mr Carter, there are these shorts ... that are leather and are embroidered with gold snowflakes ... that cost $3,150 big ones. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH BANDWIDTH TO WATCH PICASSO BABY I COULD BUY FOR THAT?!
THIS DRESS AND ALL THE OTHERS LIKE IT: Finally it seems we've turned a corner and can chuck our thermals into the back of our closet (or onto a mound in the corner of your bedroom, depending on how you roll) as the sun is shining and the weather is sweet. I can't wait to give my pasty arms a touch of Vitamin D (SPF slapped on of course) and so am hitting the shops this week to stock up on summer gear. Particularly covetable is this Country Road print dress ($169).
THIS QUOTE: Finding marriage tough guys? Akon's got a word of advice for America ... but really for us all, telling TMZ: "If America adopted that [polygamy] culture there would be less domestic disputes. The average guy in the world has a main girl and they got a side chick. And then they got a jumpoff. At the end of the day as a male we are natural breeders by nature. We can’t even escape it if we wanted to. Let’s say you put 1,000 guys on one corner and one bad chick walk past. You gon’ see 1,000 heads go, ‘Damn.’ They don’t even know why they doing it. They’re natural breeders. It’s in their genes, they can’t help it." Hmmm... I'll just leave that one to simmer on its own.
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Jay Z woos us with some outrageous leather shorts while Mariah Carey makes us laugh ... a lot.
Is it ever OK to complain about other people's kids?
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