Being a lesbian is now in fashion
I was relieved this week to see that Style.com has finally cottoned onto what we purveyors of The Gay Agenda have been saying for some time: Lesbians! They're everywhere.
And not just driving forklifts and striding purposefully down hospital and school corridors in our Birkenstocks; we have hit the catwalk.
Along with the agonies of "Is there life after J. Crew" and "Will anyone wear the Marc Jacobs fur hat" (an apt segue, perhaps) Style invites the Dear Reader to ask herself - "Is Lesbian Chic here to stay?".
Leaving aside the fact that this is, of course, one of the modern era's cruellest oxymorons (lesbian is to chic as fish is to bicycle), it is a pressing question.
It seems that girl-on-girl action is all the rage and could have far-reaching ramifications for fashion; Rihanna has swapped her stiletto booties for combat boots, and girls are "running around in Air Jordans and baseball caps".
Weren't we all, at one time or another? My sister, now a wholesome, heteronormative star of Play School, was virtually inseparable from her Reebok pumps.
In a causative reflex that would wow even the Christian Lobby, Style imagines that this "high vis lady love" (read: construction worker role play) will trigger a rash of same-sex dating "in an industry stuffed with attractive young women". 50 Shades of NO WAY. All this from a few women in pantsuits.
The thing is, lesbian chic - or as those of us pursuing The Gay Agenda like to call it, androgyny - is nothing new.
Kate Moss was doing boyish before Rihanna was but a twinkle in the great pop cosmos and Rih, your shoes are great and imma let you finish but Sarah Connor had the greatest combat boots of all time. OF ALL TIME.
What this all boils down to is that lesbians are more visible. Where we once had Melissa Etheridge and Ellen de Generes as the sole standard-bearers there now seems to be, as Style so prosaically puts it, LESBIANS EVERYWHERE.
Is that a good thing? Undoubtedly. Is the concept of 'lesbian chic' offensive? Perhaps. But is it any worse than heroin chic? Both are clearly symptoms of depravity.
Yes, it represents the commodification of sexuality and appropriation of an entire lifestyle into a singular look, but did anyone ever ask the hipsters how they felt about their mohair cardigans and fixies being writ large into the national psyche?
Besides, it's surely the acme of all we have struggled for. Gay, straight, black, white: passe is a civil right.
- Daily Life