Love & Sex
Do you put up with more crap the hotter your partner is?
(Ok. Get off your high horse. I'm being serious.)
Yes, it's easy to scoff at the question above, content in the idea your intellectual superiority remedies you immune from that which the masses might define as 'bullshite'. Yes, it's easy to adopt the lofty position natural to many of us in the latte-sipping classes and make quips about beauty being more than skin-deep, and about being attracted to minds, and not treating pretty people with any more or any less dignity than someone banged up with the ugly stick.
But the fact is some people look better than others. And looking better carries huge cultural cachet.
Hence people will, even against their better judgement, allow themselves to be drawn towards the hotness, and the notness misses out.
So. Do beautiful people really get away with more in relationships than they would if they were physically unattractive? How long do the free rides last? How different is it really for men and women? And what if you're partner isn't beautiful in the eyes of society, but you think they're drop-dead; how much do the opinions of others matter?
I was prompted to write this post because of Seth Rogen.
In the flick '50/50' (a film I recommend by the way), his character's best buddy reveals he hasn't had sex with his girlfriend for weeks. She had a yeast infection, then she got her period, she was tired, etc. Rogen can't believe it. His mate says he doesn't mind - he understands.
But it'd be different if she wasn't so banging, comes Rogen's response.
I think so. I think it's pretty clear that people in favour are going to be favoured more. And in this looks-obsessed culture called humanity, I think it's pretty impossible to argue against the idea those who are good looking get it easier.
As to how long the free ride lasts, well, that's a little less apparent.
A thing's value can diminish or improve with time. External beauty is thought to fade with the rising and falling of the sun. But as really, really, really, ridiculously good-looking people retain their exquisite jaw-structures and limpid eye-pools into old age, that their ruination correlates with the clock is not a conclusion easily drawn. And, if a relationship is long-term, perhaps the fact someone was hot to begin with is a lasting advantage.
So perhaps the free ride lasts for life? Perhaps a partner will continue to take crap so long as they rate their lover as handsome? Or is it the ratings of others that matter more. As asked, what if your gorgeous paramour is not endorsed as such by society? Or what if the inverse is true?
Of course, we're overlooking one key element in all of this: the thoughts and feelings of the pretty thing at this matter's heart.
Does it matter if they know how hot they are? I think so. Only the truly ignorant vision of loveliness would be blind to the positive impact their appearance had on other people, and their position. Only a beautiful fool would not use their features to their advantage ...
So. Do we put up with more crap the hotter our partners are?
And is that really a problem?
- Sydney Morning Herald
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