How happy couples handle arguments

If you don't want the relationship to end, then see this fight for what it is: a bump in the road that you can overcome ...
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If you don't want the relationship to end, then see this fight for what it is: a bump in the road that you can overcome together.

Arguments are a part of life, but they don't have to spell the end of a relationship. Follow these tactics from happy couples and learn to fight smart.

THEY LISTEN TO EACH OTHER

Communication is the key to a happy relationship at the best of times, but it becomes even more important during an argument. Take time to genuinely listen to what the other person is saying and hear their point of view, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak again.

The more you yell, the less you are heard.
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The more you yell, the less you are heard.

Arguments quickly become worse when it is just two people yelling at each other without ever really listening. Take things slow, take turns and remember that everyone has a right to speak.

READ MORE:
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From pleasers to big-bangers - which arguing type are you?
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THEY DON'T RUN FROM IT

On the face of it, it might seem like avoiding arguments altogether is the best course of action. Not so. Leaving an issue to fester, unspoken, inevitably makes it worse.

Rather than running from a fight, sit down with your partner and talk it through in a reasonable manner. That way, you will be able to come to some sort of resolution instead of just privately stewing over an issue. It's only a matter of time before it blows up in your face.

THEY ATTACK THE PROBLEM NOT THE PERSON

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There's a big difference between being angry at a person and being angry at their behaviour, and it's important to keep a clear distinction.

Remember that you and your partner are a team, not on opposing sides. Just because you disagree over something, no matter how large or small, doesn't change that. If a problem arises, you are better off focusing on how you can tackle it together instead of attacking the other person directly.

THEY THINK ABOUT THE BIG PICTURE

It's only natural to want to win a fight, but what you should really be focusing on is letting the relationship win overall. It can be easy to get caught up in the minutiae of an argument, focusing on the little details and tiny slights you think have been delivered.

But take a moment and see the bigger picture – do you want this relationship to end? If the answer is no, then you need to see this fight for what it is: a bump in the road that you can overcome together.

THEY DON'T GET NASTY

This should go without saying but, sadly, it doesn't. At no point do happy couples resort to name calling, threatening language, out of control yelling or physical violence. Don't say something you can't take back or that you will ultimately regret. Remember that, above all, you love each other and you want to be together

- oversixty.com.au

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