Your Heart's Content

Advice: He keeps overspending

05:00am 12 Dec 2013

He keeps spending too much and she keeps having to pick up the pieces. Then, when she tries to sort it out she is made to feel like a nag. What to do? 

Help.... 

My husband and I both work full time and deposit our incomes into a joint account, where we pay the mortgage, bills etc. I do earn relatively more than him, but it all goes into the one pot. Based on the overall household budget, we each get the same amount of discretionary cash per week (for coffee, junk food, etc). The household buys clothing, shoes, personal items, and our work lunches (made at home) - and it's pretty evenly spent across the family. 

In the last 10 months we've paid off HIS personal overdraft three times. Cue budgeting advice and harsh words (me) and declarations of good behaviour (him). Overdraft closed.  

Problem solved - for about six weeks! I've now discovered that he reinstated the OD facility, is again sitting in overdraft, and has had his boss siphon off money from his commissions before they get paid to our account.  In the last four months, that's over $900. And additionally, we again have to clear his OD. In the meantime, I'm balancing the household bills and stressing when there's not enough to go around. The almost $2000 odd he's spent on himself over 12 months would have gone a long way on bills.  

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Advice: He's getting cold feet

05:00am 28 Nov 2013

They were discussing marriage but now he's changed his tune - what should she do? 

Send your questions to lifeandstyle@stuff.co.nz, and remember to include a nickname if you don't want to be identified.

Hi,

I'm hoping you can give me some advice.

My partner is 25 and I'm 29 and we love each other to bits. We are trying to get pregnant which hasnt happened yet. We have always talked about getting married, and what we will do etc, but ever since some family drama went down that has all changed. 

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Advice: Losing my baby

11:47am 14 Nov 2013

They aborted their baby, which was the right decision for her at the time, but she now regrets it ... 

Send your questions to lifeandstyle@stuff.co.nz, and remember to include a nickname if you don't want to be identified.

Hi, 

Recently my partner and I aborted our baby because we found out there were serious problems with it - I won't go into these, but they were grave.

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Advice: Office crush

05:06am 19 Sep 2013

She still loves her husband, but she has a big crush on someone at work: does it spell marriage disaster? 

Send your questions to lifeandstyle@stuff.co.nz, and remember to include a nickname if you don't want to be identified.

Hi, 

I'm happily married. Our relationship has changed since we first met - it's not as passionate and romantic, but I definitely still love my husband. The only issue is I've developed a big crush on a colleague - like really big - and I think it's mutual. I'd never act on it, but it worries me that it's developed so strongly. 

Does it mean there's something really wrong with my marriage?

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Advice: I regret our break-up

05:00am 12 Sep 2013

She may have misjudged someone who was very important to her, and now feels as though she is left with nothing. How can she make peace with her decision and find the strength to move on?

Send your questions to lifeandstyle@stuff.co.nz, and remember to include a nickname if you don't want to be identified.

Hi,

Several years ago I sought advice from a newspaper columnist about my inability to move on from an unexpectedly painful heartbreak.

My partner of seven years broke off our engagement, and while I embraced the chance for a single lifestyle wholeheartedly, I started to struggle a few years later when other sad events occurred in my life and I realised it would have been nice to have a loving person with me to help me through.

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