Mum shares post about attempting shower sex post-kids
As most parents know, finding time for sex post-kids is one of life's not-so-little challenges. Add in the libido killer that is sleep-deprivation and it's a wonder our firstborn bubs ever end up with siblings. The struggle is real.
That's exactly why one woman's hilarious account of trying to have shower sex with her husband is going viral - it's just oh-so relatable.
"I am not sure when the last time we actually had sex when the kids were up?!" the mum confesses on the Breastfeeding Mama Talk's Facebook page.
Those days are gone. Instead, sexy-time involves a stealth mission - getting the kids fed, washed and into bed early.
"I ran to the bedroom turned off Blippi and turned on romantic music," the mum writes. "Found the lighter from my 2-year-old's birthday party and got the dust-covered candles lit."
The next challenge, she continues as she sets the scene, was to attempt to be sexy, "ignoring my post-partum naked body society frowns upon".
Getting into the shower with her husband, the water lukewarm because her kids used up all the hot water, the mum writes that as the couple shared a "passionate kiss" they heard their children's phantom cries "every 30 seconds."
Not ideal. Definitely not ideal. And yet the story only continues to get worse ...
"Trying to catch our footing we hear a loud SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" the mum continues. "I start cursing the toy dolphin under my breath. As we are desperate to keep the mood going we realise the alphabet toys below us ...We are surrounded..."
The moment has gone, she admits, as the pair laugh together. Sexy-time is over as quickly as it began.
"We get back to best friend mode," the mum writes, "laughing so hard we are barely able to catch our breath."
As a reminder of the "crazy ride" that is parenting, the mum then shares that they decided to snap a "goofy picture" to capture the moment.
"Some of you will think 'omg why would you post something so private'," she writes. "Well, I am a transparent person and I try to find the humor in being a parent."
And she's right. Sometimes, in the chaos of those early parenting years, you just have to laugh.
In response to the very funny post, other parents have shared their own tales of sexy-time disasters.
"As parents of four ranging 18 months to 14 years old, sex doesn't happen often," one mum wrote. "The baby sleeps in our bed cause for whatever reason she is terrified of hers. Which of course, makes sex a million times harder. So with that being said, we got in the floor one day. FINALLY IT WAS TIME! Felt like we had been waiting years. So things get going ... and at that peak moment ... My husband's leg hit the tractor that was laying in the floor among the ten million other toys and it starts shouting 'caterpillar caterpillar' ... We immediately started laughing and my husbands 'caterpillar' immediately went back into his shell."
"So. Much. Truth," another added. "If it wasn't for shower sex, our second baby wouldn't be on the way! I think I even stepped on a squeaky octopus in the process!"
Read the post in full below: