Wedding photo rules, oh snap

Last updated 15:06 30/01/2013

PHOTO BAN: The bride's internal monologue here is something like, "I'm gonna smile so I look good, but if Stacy even thinks of tagging me, she's off top table".

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Facebook updates at weddings are extremely bad taste. Same goes for live tweeting. And Flickring. And whatever other social media updating might explode from your smartphone enabled hand.

This is the message a range of soon-to-be-newlyweds are sending their guests.

Have they lost the plot?

It's no secret people get control-freak crazy when it comes to The Big Day. Weddings can transform otherwise normal, reasonable, sane folk into strange and peculiar creatures.

But is requesting your guests refrain from sending photos of the bride, or groom, or gropey Uncle Marty live to the world from the ceremony or reception utterly outrageous? The compulsion to share is so second-nature and so enabled by today's newfangled devices, can anyone really expect people to refrain?

They are your 'friends' after all.

"Hell yes, you should ask people not to update from the wedding," one girlfriend with particularly strong feelings about the issue said when I mentioned I was writing this blog.

"It's my big day - I don't want people posting photos and making comments while it's all going on.

"One, there are some people who I don't want seeing my wedding, including people I didn't invite, so having people post photos is only going to pose problems.

"Two, they're guests at the wedding, so they should be focusing on the wedding and not their network. Why did they come if they weren't going to properly participate?

"Three, think about who'd be seeing the updates and how they'd be judging the wedding. Not that I care, but the thought of people commenting on posts or unflattering photos throws a bit of a shadow over the whole thing.

"Plus, I'm spending a score on photography, and I fully intend to upload those photos to said social media when and how I please - it's not anyone else's place to share photos of my day, especially photos that don't do it justice..."

What do you think? Are her reasons for refusal justifiable?

I'm a sucker for etiquette, so on one hand I completely understand reactions against rude behaviour. Picturing someone stuck to their phone, taking photos and sending tweets during the vows and toasts and whatnot  certainly paints an offensive image. Not to mention the awkwardness outlined above regarding 'friends' not friendly enough to make the invite list...

But is there a touch of vanity wrapped up in the desire to so totally protect the wedding from being revealed in a light less than flattering? Does the desire to prevent any information from seeping out, unsanctioned, smack of self-obsession? Is this but more evidence we've become trapped in a world gone mad with self-consciousness?

What do you think? Would you keep your wedding a closed book, or are you happy for you face to be shared, live, with every other twit out there?

- Daily Life

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