The gift registry

About a week ago, the groom from a wedding I went to a month ago popped up on Facebook chat. 

"So, and this is really awkward... went through the wedding presents and cards the other day... and we have three people we haven't received cards or presents from and one random, and very generous donation to our honeymoon fund..." he wrote.

Oh yeah, I replied. Funny he should say that because I forgot to give them the card I had, I mentioned.

We had, however, made a payment to the wedding/honeymoon fund set up through Flight Centre about three weeks before the wedding.

But they didn't get it! Argh, the shame of going to a wedding and having the bride and groom think we hadn't contributed. No wonder he felt so awkward approaching me about it. It's just one of those weird things you don't discuss! 

Turns out, the contribution we'd made just randomly got attached to some other couple's account who may have had a nice wee top-up along with a line saying "Congrats from Greer and future husband".  That's been reversed now and it's ended up where it was supposed to be. (Sorry to the mystery couple!)

But it got me thinking. The only reason my friends realised the mistake (and they've worked out there's been an error in at least three transactions on their honeymoon account) is because they sat down and matched up the guest list with gifts received.

What a debacle! So much for having a stress-free alternative to receiving half a dozen clocks and toasters as wedding gifts.

Instead they've had to tiptoe around trying to work out if people hadn't contributed or if they had, and there had been an error. TIP: ALWAYS ASK THE BRIDE AND GROOM IF THEY GOT YOUR CONTRIBUTION!

This isn't the first time I've heard of this happening with these kinds of registries. Not to mention the "hidden" costs behind some of them as well (a couple of hundred dollars just in set-up fees, and charges that the couple has to pay for if the guests choose to pay by credit card, to mention a few).

So what's the solution?

We would like to set up a registry for our wedding so if people choose to gift us something, we don't receive seven clocks. We're setting up our new lives together so homewares are completely appropriate for us - rather than couples, like our friends and their travel fund, who already have everything they need. 

We'd also appreciate knowing who gave what so we can thank them appropriately and know for ourselves that a certain dinner set was given to us by so-and-so.

But what's the etiquette? I'm trying to find decent online sites that allow this in NZ but most are available only overseas. Any ideas out there, blog world?

Also we appreciate that people will have to travel and so on, and while we don't expect gifts, we would like the ones we do receive to be practical and not doubled up. 

Maybe we'll set up a wishing well too but I know a lot of people feel weird about giving money, which I can totally understand.

I also wouldn't want people to put gifts on a gift table and the card to get lost so we don't know who gave what. At a few 21sts I've been to I noticed someone had the job to write a reference on the wrapping of the gift to the appropriate card, or affix it in a way where it was clearly stuck together. Fair enough at a wedding also? I think so.

What did you plan or are you planning to do about gifts at your wedding? Had any holiday fund disasters like our friends? Any tips on how to set up a gift registry online in New Zealand to prevent double-ups of gifts?

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