I really don't want to look like a mother bird regurgitating food into her baby's mouth when we do our first kiss as husband and wife.
Think that doesn't happen? You obviously haven't seen this.
It's a big moment. The days, weeks, months and maybe even years of expectation, pressure and love comes down to That Moment. The Kiss.
Not only will everyone be watching, everyone (including the people you PAID to do so) will also have their camera out ready to capture The Kiss. Immortalised forever in permanent pixels.
I don't know about you but when I've been a guest at a wedding, witnessing the kiss while whooping and hollering encouragement has always been a highlight as you sit poised to see what the kiss will be like.
A polite peck on the cheek? A little smooch? A sloppy pash-fest? That awkward moment where one person goes big, and the other one pulls back looking slightly disgusted by the whole thing? Will they do a DIP? DO A DIP! DO! A! DIP!
It is a moment. It is almost THE moment in a wedding. It is... beautiful. It is love.
So it is no wonder people practise their first kiss. I mean, they do, don't they?
I've heard of couples literally re-enacting parts of the ceremony (Dum-dum, da-dum... yada-yada vows, blah, blah, KISS!) to work out whose arm will go where, what angle will be best for the photogs and how much is just the right amount (if any) of tongue.
While I haven't yet discussed with husband-to-be (let's face it, he can just read my blog posts to keep up with my our plans), I'm totally all about the practice kiss sessions.
If nothing else, it'll probably be a bit of a laugh. But there will be a practical side.
When we first started dating, me being the queen of the selfie photo, took heaps of schmooshy photos of us together, smooching and just being gross. No, not that kind of gross. Then I noticed a trend: The sod keeps his eyes open when he kisses me!
It totally creeped me out.
I highlighted it to him (along the lines of "But, but, but no one has their eyes open in the wedding kiss photo! That's just WEIRD!") and ever since he's flipped the other way into scrunch-eyes-so-tightly-tight-it-looks-redic* pose, followed by the softly spoken "but I'm practising!" phrase.
So I guess in a way, every kiss is a practice and come the big day, who knows what our kiss pose will look like, but I think this is pretty rad:
Do you think they practised that, or did the groom just have a bit of a brain explosion?
Did you or do you plan to "practice" your wedding kiss? Ever seen a horror one where it all goes wrong in that one moment? Should a groom ever dip his wife - planned or not planned? Tongue or no tongue? Vote now!
* It's actually rather cute.
ALSO: Fan of this blog? Voting has also opened in the NetGuide Web Awards so click here. Scroll to the bottom of the page, look for "best blog" category and enter this link http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/weddings/blogs/ready-or-knot
You can also email Greer here and share your wedding woes, feedback or questions.
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