In sickness, and in health

22:30, Aug 13 2012

First off, a thousand apologies for the silence on the blog front in the past week. Those who know me know I've had what can only be described as a horror week which left me unmotivated, distracted and unable to begin to sit down and think about writing a blog post about blimmin' weddings. 

It got to the point where I eye-rolled when people asked me about the wedding and "how the plans are going" because, quite frankly, there are way more important things in life than weddings.

Don't take this the wrong way - weddings are an amazing celebration of love and while yes, they are but just one day in our lives, they are happy days.

But there is always one thing more important than weddings and that is quite simple: love.

Over the past week, I've had a huge reality check.

I have had bad news layered upon bad news and, at times, I've struggled to comprehend just why everything seems to come at once and why bad things happen to good people. ("When it rains, it pours" has always been one of my mantras.)


Anyway a friend I spent some time with this week mentioned a wedding they're going to in the coming weeks. The pair had been together for many years and recently decided to get married after discovering one of them received a diagnosis that meant their time together is set to be cut tragically short. They set a date to proclaim their love in front of their nearest and dearest, only to have to bring it forward because things were deteriorating so fast.

Some may say, why bother? What's the point in marrying someone who can't promise to love you until they're grey and old if you both know one of you won't be around then?

I'll tell you why.

Marriage isn't just a piece of paper - and if you honestly believe it is, I suggest you cease reading this blog immediately. It will serve no use other than to infuriate you at the path I and others have chosen to go down.

Remember Eve van Grafhorst? Whenever I think of people "staging" wedding ceremonies even as they knock on the door to the next life, I think of her. Barely old enough to understand what a "wedding" or a "marriage' was, she understood but one thing: love. And that means I will love you forever, no matter how long forever is.

And that really, really emphasises the "in sickness, and in health" line, doesn't it?

Those few words that people mutter during vows are often the ones where people read them out like this: "For BETTER, for worse, for RICHER, for poorer, in sickness and in HEALTH", hoping of course that they only ever encounter the emphasised words. 

But life being the way it is means that we often have to face sickness and being unwell throughout our time, and you can but hope that those vows pull you through as a couple.

For most of us (hopefully) it'll just be nursing someone's man flu. For others, it can be something much more serious. And it is there where marriage vows - to me - kick in. You love them when they're up, you love them when they're down. I couldn't have found this quote at a better time:

After all, it is those who get the opportunity to declare their love to another person - whether it's in front of two witnesses or 500 people - that are blessed because we are alive to do so.

So on that note, I am blessed.* 

Did you or do you plan to include the 'in sickness and in health' line in to your vows? How has your marriage or relationship coped through illness or tough times? Has a series of events changed your relationship status once you put things in to perspective? 

* Apologies for the soppy post. I'll be back to my sarcastic, "normal" self soon enough!

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