Do you give the ring back?

00:22, Aug 27 2012

Given last week's revelation that there are actually more than a couple of blokes who read this blog, I'm thinking today's topic may gain a similar ratio of reaction as this really is one for the guys out there.

I read with interest this opinion piece about what the legal implications are around an engagement ring when the engagement gets called off.

(I'm interested to hear your feedback on his conclusion in the above piece. Did you even know that was a thing? Have you known anyone to do it?)

While I don't plan on calling mine off (honest!), I know people (actually, quite a few now that I think about it) whose engagements never made it to the next stage and I've often wondered what the done thing is when it comes to the token of promise.

Not that she's a moral compass for society, but who could forget when Aussie model Lara Bingle made headlines for "flushing" her $200,000-plus engagement ring, given by then fiancé Michael Clarke, down the loo. (It was, in fact, not the case... but the symbolism behind such a story made it quite believable.)  

Bingle's bungle is just one of numerous amusing (if that's the right word?) stories about how people dispose of unwanted "gifts" or mementos from relationships - which almost always seem to involve the act of physically "throwing" items away.


My theory is that there can't be a one-size-fits-all response because it would need to come down to each scenario.

For example, if I did call off my engagement, I would 100 per cent hand the ring back.

Yes, it was given as a gift - but the intention behind it was something I wouldn't have fulfilled so therefore I think it should go back.

More to the point, what on earth would I do with it if I kept it?

I'd never wear it again - what a waste - and I wouldn't want to sell it because then I'd be left with "guilt" money that I also wouldn't feel comfortable with. BUT - that's just me.

If Future Husband backed out on our engagement, I would still offer back the ring. I don't know if he'd want it or not (we haven't exactly had this discussion, for obvious reasons) but that's the only thing that would sit right with me.

What would you do if your engagement got called off? Would you give or expect the engagement ring back? Under what circumstance would your response depend?

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