The what-the-hell vows

22:44, Oct 07 2012

Now that we're getting to the biz-niz end of this wedding shiz, I've started to think about the vows.

To me, these are the crux of every wedding. They are the reason for the day; the declaration of what has been and what's to come. They are so important, and yet I'm not sure many people actually consider them as much as all of the other aspects of the day? Do they?

I remember sitting around with one of my friends a day or two before her big day googling wedding vows as she cut and pasted bits that she liked from other people's wedding vows.  

It was weird, because even though it's a personal moment, essentially what we're saying is what most people say and promise in their vows.

But there has been a shift. Almost all of the weddings I have been to recently have vowed to do very personal things. Whether it's to always put the toilet seat down, or to promise to "annoy each other" for the rest of their lives, vows have come along quite a bit from "to have and to hold".

When couples take on this vow thing and really put their heart and humour into it, that's when I get my cry on. The lump in the throat becomes a spluttery laugh as the couple attempts to lighten the mood with funny one-liners.

I had a bit of a laugh (or maybe baulk) when I read this piece about the even weirder things people are vowing to do now, and wondered what you thought of a couple of points.


Digital faithfulness:

I'd never even heard of the term and, to be honest, it doesn't even make sense to me!

According to that piece, including the line "to be faithful including no flirtatious following or friending" was supported by 70 per cent of women respondents and more than 60 per cent of men. What. The. Hell? Is this even a thing?

Isn't being faithful just being faithful - anywhere, at any time, no exceptions - the internet included? Sheesh. People these days. But still, there's no way I would include that line. Not because I intend to Facebook-friend-request flirtatiously (say that 10 times) but to me it raises more questions than answers. If I heard that at a wedding, I'd instantly think someone had been in trouble for that in the past...  Hardly a topic you'd want to bring up?

To obey or not to obey?

Apparently only 18 per cent of women and 27 per cent of men would vow to "obey". The thing that cracks me up about this is that men are more into obeying. I like this. As you were.

I can't say I'm too keen on the use of that word. To me it is something a dog does to their owner; not the best analogy on how I plan to maintain a marriage. (Sit! Roll over! Good dog.)

Dying to say it:

"Till death us do part" limped in at the No 10 spot and for women and No 8 for men in the lines to be included in the vows. I've noticed this has kind of dropped off a number of services nowadays, with people either using euphemisms or not committing to a specific time frame at all. I'm still not sure how I feel about this.

On one hand I think the "death" word is a bit dreary for such a happy occasion, but I feel there needs to be some kind of measure.

Not like "I will love you till June 13, 2034", but something that indicates that you're going to do everything in your power to make it a forever thing. That is, after all, all we can ever really strive to achieve.

What are you saying or what did you say in your vows? Were they super-traditional or did you inject a bit of personality into them? What are the funniest vows you've heard taken at a wedding?

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