Removing rose-coloured glasses
Future husband said something to me the other day that has obviously stuck with me enough that days later here I am blogging about it.
I was showing him this video (tip: don't watch unless you've got a bit of spare time - it's long, but worth it) and he kind of shifted in his seat and acted a bit weird.
"I hope," he started, before his voice trailed off.
"You hope what?" I asked.
"Oh, umm. Well after watching all these videos and stuff, all the research you do of other people's weddings... I just, I hope I can do my vows justice. You've got such high expectations."
I just kind of sat there looking at him in shock.
What have I done to this poor guy?
Here we are, days out from our wedding, and he's got some type of wedding performance anxiety about my pre-conceived notions of what a "perfect" wedding should or could be.
I have, quite possibly, inadvertently become everything I detest about weddings.
I tried to reassure him, saying I didn't expect his vows to be reminiscent of something out of Dawson's Creek; that I didn't know these people in the video but that it was epic and obviously very personal to them so therefore our day will be personal to us; that we'll be fine - everything will be "perfect".
Anyway it got me wondering about the bridezillas, the ones who have dreamed about this all their lives and how reality eventually stacks up against their Pinterest dreams.
How do all their hopes and dreams pan out when The Day rolls around? How does the nonchalant partner cope with the extra pressures placed on them due to the ability to perve on other people's weddings so freely thanks to the internet?
I remember when I was helping collate the Weddings of the Week section and under the question "Was there any drama?", nine out of ten couples would say "None whatsoever! MOST. PERFECT. DAY. EVER." But in other answers would go on about how their drunken Uncle Arthur gave cousin Baz a black eye, the mother-of-the-bride packed a hissy and missed the ceremony, it hailed and they got evacuated due to a fire alarm.
Ummmm. Do we just see these days through rose-coloured glasses or what?
Not all brides, it seems.
I went to a casual wedding reception on the weekend. I asked the bride how the ceremony went and she had one word: "Disaster".
But why? I thought. You're married. You're surrounded by all your favourite people. Everyone's having a good time.
"A mini-tornado lifted up the marquee we had set up," she said.
"Oh well, at least it was memorable. You'll never forget today!" I added.
"I guess," she replied.
I get that she was peeved about the inconvenience but I could only see the positives in the day.
Anyway I want to hear from brides or the nonchalant partners on this divide between "expectation" and the reality of the day. It'll take a fair amount to upset me on the day - but I imagine some brides must lose it at the sight of an impending raincloud or misplaced napkin?
Or does the day roll around and suddenly all that goes out the window? Fears of guests not adhering to the dress code or the food being a disaster disappear?
I guess it's all about perspective.
You can also email Greer here and share your wedding woes, feedback or questions.