First, thanks for all your lovely messages on my last post. It's quite nerve-wracking putting such a special day out there for public consumption so I'm glad you enjoyed your little sneak peek into our day. (For more, just keep an eye out here and here, or here.)
Second, I'm still getting a few wedding woes, which is awesome! I love the ability to offer solutions or ideas to problems and issues - and I think the combined smarts of you readers means we get stuff sorted!
Here's today's woe, from M:
Hi Greer, Not really a wedding woe, but something you might want to write about/ask the masses.
We are planning a registry wedding after getting engaged over the holidays. Our baby is due soon so we don't really have time to plan a big party, but are planning a wedding+1 party for 2014.
I wondered if you had any ideas for making a registry wedding more special. The formal ceremony only takes a few minutes, and then the Registrar will apparently leave us to it - we're the last ceremony for the day.
We can have around 30 people in the room and they won't kick us out for at least half an hour.
It will be nice to keep things simple, especially with the party planned for later. What do you think we should add to the ceremony?
First - double congrats! A wedding and a baby, oooeeee you're busy!
Loving the idea of the registry wedding and how cool that you get to have that time in that space and not feel "hurried out".
People I know who have had simple ceremonies like this often decide to go a local restaurant or continue the celebrations at home afterwards. I think this would be a great option for you! I also think it is totally reasonable (in order to keep costs down) to either subsidise or ask your guests to pay for their own dinners.
I know we've debated this before (um, 110 comments later, what the!), but I think in your situation (gawd, I hate saying that. It's not like you've got some weird disease or whatever, promise!) your guests should understand that you want a "proper" party later, but for now just their presence is required at this smaller, more intimate gathering.
Another way you could make it feel "special" is to continue some "traditions" - such as spending the night before your wedding apart. Trust me, this is a really good way to build anticipation and given that the ceremony is all wham-bam-thankyouma'am when you get to it (blink and you WILL miss it!), it's kind of nice to drag it out a bit, and really surprise your partner.
Speaking of which, I highly recommend you do whatever you need to do in order to make yourself feel wonderful on the day! Go get your hair done, or a massage or whatever, and really spoil yourself!
Get your hands on a dress or whatever that makes you FEEL a million bucks, and really rock it.
It'd be cool if you could document the day as much as possible too. Just because it's not the fancy pants party that you'll have later on, doesn't mean you can't have some nice details on the day included (like something old/new/borrowed/blue etc) and have a photographer or videographer (or both!) there to follow you through the process. It'd be kind of neat for your unborn child to see the wee bump crusiing around and being part of the day too! And you can show it at the "big party" at a later date! Spesh.
Whatever you do, don't play down your wedding day. Yes, it might be small and different to how you thought or wanted it to be, but it is still your wedding day and you will remember it forever - SO HAVE SOME FUN! Hey, if it's good enough for Carrie Bradshaw and Big...
You can also email Greer here and share your wedding woes, feedback or questions.