Sorry about the quietness, folks! Summer, in all its golden shimmery glory has had me distracted, and I forgot to blog! Eep.
Anyway, here's today's wedding woe:
I love your blog so much! They have helped me so far....
But have now hit a road block!
Fiancé & I are looking into Rarotonga for our wedding, BUT we have a couple of people (on his side) who have already said they can't make it, no matter how close or far away we make it, so now are looking at having it in Christchurch (our home town )
He's not happy about it and causing us to disagree now on a lot of things. Just wondering if you could help.
Has anyone had this problem where some family members can't make it, and if you've had to change your whole idea to keep the peace? Or change the location etc.
I just don't want to throw away my island dream wedding for one person who is making it difficult!
Thanks J xx?
I *kind of* covered off this topic in this post here where another bride felt torn between two locations for her wedding.
There are a few things to take into consideration before you make any hard and fast decisions.
1. "I just don't want to throw away my island dream wedding for one person who is making it difficult!"
If it really is just one person being difficult, then I would say overlook that. But do so in the knowledge that having a destination wedding almost always means you're going to have a reduced number of guests or people that are able to attend. It is a big commitment to ask people to travel internationally so if you are already having guests saying they can't make it to other cities, they're unlikely to make the trip over to your island paradise.
2. "we have a couple of people (on his side) who have already said they can't make it, no matter how close or far away we make it"
I assume by this you mean time, rather than distance? Because if you mean distance, then you just have to write them off. But if you mean time, then you have to believe them. What this means is you have to decide if having those people there is really a "must have" of the wedding day.
I had a verrrry dear family member who was unable to make our wedding day because of the date of our wedding. I did, for a short time, consider changing the day but then I knew someone else wouldn't be able to make it and the cycle would continue.
You will, quite simply, never in a million years satisfy everyone. But you can try. If other people matter that much (which they do, of course, that's why we put on these blimmin' events) then you should try to think about them when making such decisions.
But if your dream is absolutely an island in the sun, then do it. Just know that it could end up being just you and fiance...
Sit down with your fiance, nut out some basics (TIME and DATE, for starts), and go from there. Everything else will fall into place once you've locked those two things in.
What's your advice for J?
You can also email Greer here and share your wedding woes, feedback or questions.