Wedding woe: Best wo-man?

20:09, Feb 20 2013

R asks:

Hi Greer, I've been reading your blog hoping to gain some information and not feel so much out of my depth. 

I'm not sure if you have covered this topic so apologies if you have. I'm hoping you'll be able to give some guidance on an issue I'm having. 

I'll be getting married later in the year and we've started going through our invitation list, when my partner asked who I'd like as a Best Man? After some thought I could not think of anyone.


But later it occurred to me that who I would really like to have in that spot is one of my best friends who is a woman. 

I realise rules can be broken and I know my partner will be okay with it. But how should it be done? Is there anything different that will happen at the ceremony? And if my partner wanted a guy to be a bridesmaid...? What do you think? 


Hi R!
First, yay - a dude who reads this blog! (And hello to all the other ones out there, I know you're there... welcome.)

I absolutely think it is totally cool for you to have a "best woman" rather than a best man.

I've been to or seen a number of weddings where the bridal party is made up of a mixture of people who are different from the "norm" (whatever that is). For example, the bride having a guy or guys on her side, grooms having girls, the bride having her mum as her maid of honour, and so on.

Anything goes these days and all that really matters is you have people that you care about and who care about you by your side.

Also, don't feel pressured into have a certain number or certain people. So many people forget that it is actually a job and the people you select for these roles often become your punching bag (not literally) for ideas, stresses and plans and so therefore quite often don't have as good a time at the wedding as a standard guest does.

So choose carefully. Picture your wedding day in your head. Who do you want standing there (if you do indeed want anyone standing there - it's perfectly acceptable to go it alone! It is all about you and your partner at the end of the day).

What are your thoughts on mixing the gender of your bridal party? Any cool combos you've seen, or ways to include other special people in your bridal party?

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