One of the most awkward situations that arises when planning a wedding is when every man and his well-meaning dog asks you about your plans, with the occasional slant toward hinting at when their invite will reach their letterbox.
It is squirm-in-your-seat-worthy awkward.
That's why when I came across this article, I basically pointed my finger at the screen while repeating "Yes! Yes!"
This line particularly struck me as the EXACT situation that happened to me... and no doubt others out there:
"Bride meets up with some friends and is asked about her wedding plans. Bride gives some details with excitement and is then asked by 3rd tier friend 'When is it? I can't wait.' Bride secretly kicks herself for bringing up the wedding and changes subject."
There are no social rules on how one reacts to this situation despite the fact there are many ways you could.
Do you use that time to correct the person and pretty much embarrass them in front of others by saying "Sorry, you didn't make the cut"?
Do you smile and nod and try and change the subject?
Do you reply with "Can't wait either! See you there!" - fully knowing they're not invited?
Or do you add to your guest list by one, or two, or a few, to avoid the conversation entirely and keep everyone happy?
To be honest, I think I did all of the above - yes, even the last one! It was a case by case thing.
Looking back, I definitely don't regret that, and I think when compiling your guest list, if you're 50/50 about having someone there due to numbers (rather than other issues), add them. You'll feel worse if they're not there, rather than if they are, and there are almost always a couple of dropoffs on the guest list anyway.
But would I ever send out "don't save the date!" notes? Nah. But I can appreciate that they're quite amusing and I think they're cool for if you're having a teeny tiny wedding and you have a bunch of people who you went to their weddings etc, and you want to let them know that they're not going to be at yours.
Sending them to your "fringe friends" though? That's straying into awks zone. And where do you stop? Walk around work handing them out? "Hey you know how I'm getting married? Yeah well YOU'RE NOT INVITED!"
Would you or did you send 'don't save the date' cards? How do you deal with people who aren't invited but think they are?