22:16, Apr 17 2013

It's been 117 days now since I was able to stand up in front of some of my favourite people and officially marry the man I love.

Now, all New Zealanders can marry the person they love, too*. Nice one, New Zealand.  

Today's wedding woe (that arrived a couple of days ago) is pretty relevant right now. Help out this blog reader, would ya?


Just read your article about how people feel around having the actual wedding before the public celebration... I find this an interesting one personally for the following reason:
I'm in a same-sex relationship and we want to get married. I'm a Kiwi, she's an Aussie, and we're living in Australia.  

If the legislation passes tomorrow, as everyone seems to expect, to allow same-sex marriages in NZ, then we're faced with a dilemma.  Our life together is in Australia, but any ceremony here is not legally valid in any respect, this is unlikely to change for a while given the Australian Opposition's unwillingness to allow a conscience vote on the issue, and the potential change of government here later this year.  


So we are considering getting married in NZ. Problem is, many of our friends would not be able to make the trip across the Tasman to enjoy the spectacle. So do we have a civil ceremony in NZ to lock in the legalities, and then come back to Australia to celebrate? In which case, during the actual ceremony what do we get the celebrant to say!? "By the power vested in the previous celebrant, by the Government of NZ, I affirm that you are already recognised as wife & wife"?

Bit of a strange one, but might be the way we have to go - it personally saddens me that we can't have it all as one big celebration legal and social at once, but we have to work with what we can, don't we! 
Unfortunately, even if we do that, "Same-sex marriages conducted overseas are not recognised as a marriage in Australia". Maybe we should be considering a move back to Godzone... how to frame that proposition to the Aussie involved though!?

Just thought I'd share that.

Please keep anonymous if you publish any of it - haven't actually asked my lady yet! :)
Nice blogging, keep it up!


Thank you for the question, Ms Blog Reader.

There are SO many choices available for you - and now, thanks to some clever voting last night, there's one more option. And to be fair, a lot of my previous suggestions from the last post still apply to you and your partner also.

Here are my thoughts:

- Ask your lovely lady what she thinks about becoming a Kiwi Mrs. Yes, yes I know how much Australians love to think they're somewhat better than us East Island cousins, but you never know, maybe she's keen on the idea. Goodness knows how long it will take for Aussie to catch up, but it's worth suggesting a bit of a knees-up. Who knows, maybe a few people from Australia will come over? It's hardly a round-the-world trip. 

- Start a trend! It sounds as though there will be a fair few number of Aussies crossing the ditch to swap vows in this beautiful land so be a part of the marriage tourism trend! Contiki tour, anyone? I kid.

- Go to neutral ground. NZ isn't the first country to give marriage equality - pick another country so that you don't feel you're getting home ground advantage. 

- Elope. Just you two. Let everyone else Skype in, or get your wedding ceremony filmed to show later and one or two (or more!) parties.

- If you do get married in NZ, take ownership of the ceremony in Aussie. Because there are no legalities involved over there, you can go for your life and do whatever you want (but, le sigh, of course it won't be "legal" there, hmph).


* All wedding invites can be sent c/- PO Box 3, Palmerston North. Yus!

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