Wedding woe: The (maybe) pregnant bride

Last updated 11:30 01/07/2013

Knock, knock? Helloooo? You still here? Wouldn't blame you if you'd taken off considering I've been failing on the blogging... 

Here's today's wedding woe and it's a great one.

H writes, 

Hi there Greer,

I have enjoyed following your blog since I was pre-engaged. Just wondering if any of your readers have any advice on my wee dilemma.

My fiance and I have trying to start a family for some time now, and after no luck are booked in to see a specialist for some help.

At the same time we are starting to organise our wedding, but I am unsure whether to lock in a date (as there is the possibility of being pregnant), or to wait.

As it may take some time to conceive I don't want to put it off too long! Should I just go for it? Or is being pregnant on our big day really not ideal? 

Thank you! Pregnant

***
Hi H,

Thanks for your question. I think this is one that many couples face when they try to do a timeline in their head of how things are "supposed" to work out.

The funny thing about that? Life rarely does follow the plan in your head!

First, I empathise with your attempts to start a family. As these two lovely ladies have written recently (Moata and Melody), trying to make a baby isn't actually as "easy" for some as it is for others.

This is a devastating and isolating situation so I am glad you're seeking help and I hope you find the answers you're looking for (and the much-wanted baby makes itself known soon!).

I hope you have surrounded yourself with loving and wonderful people as well because it is a topic many people don't share with the wider world so don't beat yourself up too much!

Depending on how strict your wedding plans are, I would set a date sooner rather than later.

If you're not pregnant today but conception occurs tomorrow and you set the wedding for 9.5 months from now, the worst scenario would be that you give birth at the shindig. Not ideal, but it would be memorable! Ha!

However, knowing that things are taking their sweet Mary time, the chances of that occurring are pretty rare.

You HAVE TO continue to make life plans otherwise you'll stress yourself out more and as the months go by, you'll feel like you're swirling around in a black hole.

Book holidays; create memories; BOOK YOUR WEDDING. Life is way too short to watch the clock tick by, waiting for things that are (often) out of your control to align.

Instead, take control of what you can control and make a hell of go of it. Focus all your energy into it, enjoy it.

That saying "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans" is so true. If you start to focus on other aspects of your life, everything else may come along too.

I'm sure you will be SO elated when you fall pregnant that you won't care if you have a baby bump showing in your photos if that turns out to be the case. It just adds another chapter to your story.

Pregnancy is an absolute gift and a blessing - just like a wedding day. Combining the two is hardly the most awful thing in the world... in fact it's quite the opposite. 

And just remember - things get *way* worse after you marry and every second person feels it's their right to ask you why you're not yet up the duff...

What do you think H should do? Got any advice for her?

You can also email Greer here and share your wedding woes, feedback or questions.

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