Ten of the most cringeworthy gym habits

Every gym has a scantily clad, overly fragrant, self-obsessed workout warrior. Make sure it isn't you.
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Every gym has a scantily clad, overly fragrant, self-obsessed workout warrior. Make sure it isn't you.

The gym is quite the unique village, full of weird and wonderful folks. Yet every village has an idiot, and therefore every gym has one, too. You might be that guy or girl if:

1. YOU PERVE LIKE YOU'RE ON TINDER

Admiring the physical form with a quick glance is normal, human behaviour. Locking eyes with a "I'll-be-boiling-bunnies-in-your-kitchen-for-a-post-gym-protein-meal-when-you-get-home" stare is downright creepy. Exercise, don't swipe.

No matter how good you look, don't be the girl or guy who takes gelfies (gym selfies).
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No matter how good you look, don't be the girl or guy who takes gelfies (gym selfies).

READ MORE:
Ew, gross: Gym etiquette 101
Dodging gym bugs - it's a real workout
6 things you should never do at the gym

 

 

Watch out for bad habbits. There are special tips for CrossFit athletes and yogis too.
WESTEND61

Watch out for bad habbits. There are special tips for CrossFit athletes and yogis too.

2. YOU SPORT A STRINGLET

The classic singlet is standard gym wear, allowing for upper body freedom of movement. But the one made from dental floss and a few strips of cotton is exposing way too much hairy-back, nipple, and side boob.

3. YOU STINK

You're not washing your clothes, and/or you're not bathing, then sweating it out in the gym. From a pre-workout shower, to deodorant and regular laundering, do what you need to do. And use a towel to wipe the equipment you just used; it's hygiene 101.

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4. YOU TAKE GELFIES

You've checked in on Facebook to let everybody know you're at the gym - again. Super. In case we don't believe you, it's time for a few gym selfies (gelfies). Abs. Thigh gap. Glutes. Biceps. Posted straight to Facey and Insta, because the whole world needs to see your shrine of a bod. Carly Simon sung it best: "You're so vain …"

5. YOU TRAIN-EAT-SLEEP-SUPP-REPEAT

We see you drinking your pre-workout, energy explosion drink. We see you post-workout with the creatine, whey, fish oil, and other pills. You're a walking supplement shop, yet don't know that a small steak contains 50-plus grams of protein.

6. YOU'RE A PART-TIME NUDIST

You let it all hang out in the locker room. You take it even further by blow-drying your privates after a shower. No matter your shape, just remember: a towel is your best friend in the changing room, which is not your home bathroom.

7. YOU'RE THE GYM BULLY

You're the society girl who's better than the rest. Or that guy on a steroid cycle with aggravation in full force. From the desk attendant to the newcomer looking to lose some weight – you proudly intimidate them all with rudeness.

8. YOU THINK YOURS IS 'THE' ONLY WORKOUT

Hello yogis and CrossFit junkies. If you're not doing yoga, drinking kale smoothies, and sharing vegan recipes, you're the sole cause for coral bleaching and our planet's demise. If you didn't vomit during a WOD and refuel with a kilo of bacon, then why are we even speaking?

9. YOUR WORKOUT WEAR SUCKS

The stringlet is in a class of its own, but if you're wearing jeans, thongs, going barefoot, or exercising in your work gear with a building ID dangling from your waist, it's time to invest in appropriate gear.

10. YOU VIDEO YOUR WORKOUT

Gym vids are like family reunion photos – nobody wants to see them. Some weights went up, then came down. And there was a grunt. Yippee. You danced extra hard in Zumba. Woohoo. Unless Guinness was there to observe a record, we'd all prefer you posted cute puppy videos on Facebook instead.

Don't be that guy/girl ...

There are many, many more examples. You drop weights, hog machines, think every day is upper body day, chat incessantly on the phone, or shriek like Sharapova.

Be balanced. Quiet, yet friendly. Focused on form. Appropriately dressed. Helpful when called upon. Modest in the locker room. Be a man/woman with a goal, and looking to efficiently reach that goal.

What are the most loathesome gym habits you've observed? Let me know in the comment section. 

The author Michael Jarosky is a Sydney-based personal trainer.

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