Punishment has its place: Latta
BY LYN HUMPHREYS
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Wellbeing
Nigel Latta has hit a nerve with some viewers with his bring-back-punishment methods for bringing up your kids.
The star of The Politically Incorrect Parenting Show: The First Decade on TV One which is stealing the ratings on Wednesday nights, revealed yesterday that he is getting hate mail.
"Being on TV is great. You can p.... off people you have never even met."
But the clinical psychologist, from Dunedin, told the Taranaki Daily News he did not advocate hitting your kids.
If he did, he would be struck off his professional body, the New Zealand Psychological Society.
He personally had never advocated smacking, he says.
The current referendum on smacking was "hopelessly political", had been left in a no-win situation, and was a waste of $9m.
"I think the referendum is dumb and the law change was dumb. The whole issue for me is a nightmare."
But he is a strong advocate for a return to commonsense punishment in this PC world, he says.
"We've got rid of punishment. We don't do it any more. But I think there's a value in punishment.
"It makes you think about what might not be a good idea," he said.
And this was the message he pressed home to about 250 parents at the Bell Block Community Hall.
There was the teenage boy who had burgled and trashed houses.
As part of his justice plan, set up by a non-government organisation, the boy was given a gym membership, to keep him busy and out of mischief, $700 to buy gym gear, and an amplifier for his guitar along with tickets to rock concerts.
The message the boy would have received was that if he ever did it again he would get more of the same, that is, receive a reward for bad behaviour.
The modern idea that if you were nice to people they would be nice back was rubbish, he said.
"You have to give children a reason not to be bad," he said.
"No one tells you about how bloody angry kids make you feel," Dr Latta told the crowd, who laughed loudly and often during the 1 1/2 hour show.
Dr Latta was hosted by Tu Tama Wahine O Taranaki's Social Workers in Schools services. Parents need principles and a simple plan, he says.
"As long as everyone is breathing there is hope."
Teenagers' brains are literally not wired for sensible decision-making, he says.
"They are just not right in the head. Puberty is just weird.
"Sometimes you just have to wait until they grow up."
Teenage boys are absolute pragmatists, he says. Mothers should know when to shut up,
"Because teenage boys don't actually care how you feel."
By all means, get your teen hopelessly addicted to computer games to use as collateral, "and then take it off them".
"In the rare moments they are nice is what they are eventually going to be. All the rest is just the bollocks of being a teenager."
- © Fairfax NZ News
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