Damn those pesky scales. I resolutely weigh myself every morning, standing there in my jim-jams after a quick wee.
I know, some would say that a regular morning weigh-in is bordering on the obsessive, but I'm a body kinda girl. It's how I make a quid, and I'm a fan of walking the proverbial walk.
I don't want to be the person who makes idle gestures towards healthy nutrition and exercise while carting around a sizeable portion of booty.
I can't help but have misgivings about professionals who are clearly experts in their fields, but also-rans when it comes to putting their wisdom into practice.
There are no Post-it notes calling me to action on my fridge door. If you want to put yourself up as someone who knows their stuff, don't talk about it - be it.
Which brings me to the point of this little missive, a point you could be forgiven for thinking doesn't exist. I lie awake at night hopeful that in my lifetime I will be able to enjoy not just an instant assessment of my weight each morning, but rather an instant assessment of my health.
Knowing my weight is good.
Knowing my standard of health is better. You see, weight is a slow burn - it's fickle and fluctuates a lot, and doesn't really tell me about my cellular health, how my organs are rockin' or how my immune system is travelling.
The glacial reduction in waist measurement is always welcome if you're in the market to lose a kilo or nine, but I'm in a hurry and I want to know now the effect of my killer circuit last night, or the extra helpings of organic asparagus during the week. Because - and here's the thing - my body does know. It's just not telling me.
Our bodies respond at a cellular level the instant we eat a portion of fries or jog to catch a bus. The change is subtle, but quick.
The moment we tell our amazing bodies to do something through diet or exercise or stress, it responds immediately.
So never get on the scales after a workout and think it was a waste of time because they haven't moved. Never eat junk and think it doesn't matter because you still look okay. Everything you do makes a difference.
And when the Health-o-Meter app hits the market and an on-the-spot assessment of your health is a mere gigabyte away, guess who will be camping out in front of the Apple store?
Make health your goal, not weight or dress size, not the way you look or whether your friends notice a change in you. Good health is the ultimate reward.
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