Facing up to the terrors of the kitchen

GRATE WORK: Warwick Rasmussen gets to grips with the grater while making his cheese scones.

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In the latest of our Give it a Go series, deputy editor Warwick Rasmussen takes on his mother's tried-and-true scone recipe.

I don't like the kitchen – it is my least favourite place in the house.

Perhaps it is my fear and lack of ability when it comes to combining ingredients to make something edible.

I selfishly blame a mother who made all my food, and my student years living with a chef flatmate.

Whatever my lame excuse, tackling a tricky recipe like my mum's cheese scones was daunting.

A quick phone call to Mum didn't help. She laughed, then rattled off her process of expert scone making, which included not measuring any of the ingredients. Gulp.

A rummage through the drawers and cupboards revealed I didn't even have the basics of baking, such as mixing bowls.

Once I had everything I needed (with a hand-written scrawl of a recipe) I froze.

Even though the instructions were basic I was stressing at the thought of butchering Mum's failsafe methods.

Flour, salt, pepper, grated cheese, milk. Was it really that simple? Knead it, roll it and cut it into rectangles. Bung it in the pre-heated oven for 20-25 minutes.

I had heard, and read, that lemonade helped the scones rise. Mum said that was an excuse for people who couldn't bake.

I should have used lemonade.

What came out of the oven smelled like scones and resembled them, only flatter.

Mum insists on putting jam and cream on her cheese scones, so I follow the tradition. My guinea pig tester didn't quite give me the thumbs up, but she didn't run to spit them out either.

I claim moderate success. I ring Mum to give her the news. She gives me some tips that could take care of the flatness of the scones.

"Next time just make them a bit bigger before you put them in the oven," she said. Next time? I'm not sure there will be, but my fear of the kitchen is a little less irrational.

I think it'll be a while until I start belting out the recipes from the signed Gordon Ramsay book my chef friend got me, which reads: "Tw.., start f...... cooking. Love Gordon."

Mrs Rasmussen's scone recipe:

About 2-3 cups of self-raising flour

About a cup of milk

About 2 cups of grated cheese

Some salt and pepper

Sliced cheese for topping

Mix all ingredients together in a bowl, "knead the hell out of it" then roll it out flat.

Cut into 1cm-high rectangles, put a slice of cheese on each then put on a baking tray into a pre-heated oven set at 180 degrees C. Bake for 20-25 mins. Serve with jam and cream.

- © Fairfax NZ News