Anna Guy has spoken about her husband Ewen Macdonald, saying she felt like her marriage to him was a sham.
In an interview with the New Zealand Herald, Ms Guy said she had lived a double life and all trust had been destroyed.
She took her maiden name after Macdonald was charged with the murder of her brother, Feilding farmer Scott Guy.
Macdonald was found not guilty of murder in July, but was sentenced to five years’ jail on Friday in the High Court at Palmerston North on theft, intentional damage, arson and graffiti charges.
"I have known about stuff for a while but it is still a shock even now.’’ she said.
"I think that's why it was really devastating at the time because I found out so much more about him that I didn't know. It took me most of last year to get my head around it," she told the Herald.
"Getting arrested for killing Scott was one thing but there was way more stuff to come that was so devastating that no one knew about."
Ms Guy said the past couple of years had been a nightmare to live through.
"But I have managed to switch off a bit now because I figured I would go insane if I thought about it all the time. But I keep going over and over conversations I had with him earlier - what did he actually mean by that?
"He had been through so much with us as a family - then it was like he was a traitor, sort of," she said.
Macdonald can phone his children from prison, but Ms Guy told the Herald there were no set times.
Their children could visit him, but "I don't want them to get used to going there. It is not a place for children - but he is their father," she said.
Ms Guy said there was never any doubt she would split with Macdonald following the revelations of his offending.
"It was pretty much me choosing my family or him at the end of the day.’’
Ms Guy told the paper she was single, despite rumours.
She said she was considering leaving her hometown of Feilding for Auckland.
"You know, one day the kids will grow up, leave home, study and get jobs. I will be left on my own here.’’
- © Fairfax NZ News
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