From Drinker to Brewer
Joey Tribbiani may not have been the smartest character in forever-rerunning sitcom Friends, but he was never short of insightful musings.
From women to food to furniture, Tribbiani was never short of a view on anything.
But his best piece of advice is what I have come to call the Tribbiani Theory.
Taken from the ninth episode of the sixth series, it comes while he eats a dessert Rachel made, which combined shepherd's pie and trifle.
I blame it on a football season where my team was so bad we did not even score a goal.
It was bloody terrible - a group of 12-year-olds made to play in the 13-15 age grade.
Of course we were never going to win a game. But to never score a goal? That has to be unheard of.
I blame that season of football for destroying my competitive streak.
But there are those who have not been scarred by 15-goal maulings, who love competition, and for homebrewers in New Zealand the biggest competition has begun.
Somewhere in New Zealand, two people are holding two pieces of paper with a combined value of $55 million.
Yes, the lucky sods won a mountain of pennies in the past week.
Everyone has their Lotto dream: buying property, going on holiday, finally paying off the student loan.
But there is always that nagging feeling you should give something to a good cause, like Greenpeace orOxfam or the starving kids in Africa.
If the two lucky winners are struggling to think of a place to throw a casual few big ones in the name of charity, they could do worse than send them Kelly Ryan's way.
They may be man's best friends, but dogs also seem to have a knack of being around wherever beer is.
There is the classic pub dog: sitting in its spot, surveying its patch of paradise while people come and go.
They are sadly lacking in New Zealand, with Bruce Robert Vagabond the only one I have come across.
Breweries also have an affinity for canines, if the number named after dogs is anything to go by.
Off the top of my head: ParrotDog, BrewDog, Black Dog, Flying Dog, Dog and Fig.
Wellington-based ParrotDog takes things one-step further and names most of its beers after dogs.
Wine is wine. Beer is beer. Cider is cider.
Right? Well, not really.
The problem with alcoholic drinks is that it is often very difficult to find out exactly what is in them.
Nutritional information is scant - there is more on a bottle of Coke than a bottle of beer - so we often take people at their word.
But often that word is, well, wrong. Especially when it comes to cider.
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