Widow remembers the happy times
BY CLAIRE CONNELL
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Tomorrow's 30th anniversary of the Mt Erebus plane tragedy would have been teenage sweethearts Ian and Shirley O'Connor's golden wedding anniversary.
Instead, Blenheim resident Shirley O'Connor, 73, will spend the day attending the Auckland memorial service for the victims of Erebus, with her three children.
Ian, 41, and Shirley's older brother, Ronald "Ronnie" Brehaut, 40, were killed on the doomed Air New Zealand flight TE901, that crashed on a one-day sightseeing flight to Antarctica on November 28, 1979, killing all 257 people on board.
Ian was accompanying Ronnie, who was intellectually disabled and had always wanted to make a big trip on a plane – a dream that would end in tragedy.
Ian and Shirley first met at the swimming baths in Timaru in the 50s. "He had a lovely smile – that was what got me," Shirley recalls.
Dates included the movies, cycling and attending dances.
It was initially a "turmoil courtship" with Ian's family Catholic and hers Methodist.
But love conquered all, Shirley's parents grew to love Ian and the pair married in 1959 after seven years together.
"They were the good days," Shirley remembers. "It's nice to look back at the happy times."
Shirley describes Ian as a hard worker and "full of life".
"He always liked to be doing things. I often think of what it would be like today if he was still alive. But it never happened."
Shirley will never forget the night that she heard over the radio news that the Air New Zealand plane was late in arriving back.
It was 9pm on the eve of their 20th wedding anniversary.
"You don't think, you just pass it over, `Oh they're just a bit late'."
Time dragged on. At about 1am news came the aircraft had lost contact and there were no survivors.
Children Raylene, Lance and Jackie were teenagers at the time.
"We would switch the television on every night and there would be these same blue and white photos of the tail of the plane, and the same music (playing). That tail ... it is something that will always be in my mind," Shirley says.
Regular police visits in following weeks helped identify Ian's body, using fingerprints off an aftershave bottle and Ian's crash helmet for hairs. He was later buried along with Ronnie in Timaru cemetery.
Three decades on Shirley is finally at peace with the disaster that claimed the lives of her treasured husband and brother. "It was devastating. Your whole body shuts down, you can't concentrate because you don't know whether they would be found, you would just look every night on the news."
She said her neighbour arrived every morning with a banana milkshake to encourage her to eat.
She lost weight and was depressed. But each day the pain lessened and she was now grateful she was young enough to "get on with her life".
She does not blame anyone for the crash, but believed the disaster was covered up by Air New Zealand to avoid getting a "bad name".
"There is something there that isn't right, and I realise it more so now."
After the crash, the only information Shirley received was via the television and the odd police visit. She was never in contact with other families, and to this day has not met anyone else involved with the crash.
If the Erebus crash happened now, investigations would have been launched promptly to establish the truth and avoid any no cover-ups, she said.
Shirley said the recent apology by Air New Zealand chief executive Rob Fyfe was 30 years too late, but was pleased it had finally been made.
Shirley attended a Wellington memorial service a couple of years ago. "There were people there but you didn't bowl up to them and say did you have someone [who died] ... it just didn't seem right."
Shirley planned to commemorate her and Ian's golden wedding anniversary with a family dinner in Auckland after the service. Ian's brother, Paddy O'Connor and wife Barbara, who also live in Blenheim, would also attend.
Shirley missed out on going on the 30th anniversary flight over Mt Erebus, but says there is no bitter feelings. However, she has always wanted to go down there and "just see".
Three years after the crash Shirley sold the family home in Timaru and moved to the Mackenzie Country to pursue her art, which she said was a "Godsend" in helping her cope.
After 10 years on her own she met Robin, a picture framer and they've been together since for 20 years and have lived in Blenheim for three, where they run a painting and picture framing business from home.
But Shirley's memories of Ian, Ronnie and the Mt Erebus crash are never far away. "That word closure ... I looked up the dictionary to see what it actually means and it means shutting something off. But I don't think I want to shut it off I still want to remember the good times. So if you call that closure I don't want that. You've just got to get on with life."
- The Marlborough Express
