Soapbox: Life is what happens while you're online

Scott Radovanovich
Scott Radovanovich

Every second person in New Zealand is having an affair!

An affair with social media, a private relationship on a global scale, intimate moments shared with 826 of their closest friends! Those intimate moments not necessarily shared with people in the same room.

We used to have real conversations about work, family, the weather, the mundane. Life.

Nothing's changed really, it's just now, instead of a mental image of your exploits which came from a conversation, you've posted a photo with a link to a video, added any comments of your own, created an album, a project to which you will update 2-3 times a day, hoping/praying that someone will comment or at least "Like" the post . . . tick tick tick, come on, it's been 10 minutes; what's up with my computer today? Why am I not getting comments? Where's my feedback, I thought you were my closest friends?

Fine, while I'm waiting, I'll click on this profile and see what they're up to CLICK why on earth would you post that!? CLICK yep, seen it before, CLICK ha, that's cool I must remember to . . . CLICK yeah, yeah. If I wanted a weather update I'd get the weather channel CLICK we never do anything fun like that CLICK 79 comments about your new job!? CLICK why hasn't anyone commented on my post? CLICK Is anyone else having problems with Facebook today?

"Yes kids I'll be with you in a . . . Yes, I know I said that already, Yes I am aware of how long a minute is."

CLICK 19 comments not having any probs with Facebook connecting, hmmm, why didn't anyone like the picture of my dinner, it was a work of art . . . ignorance must be bliss.

While you were anti-socially being social, a.k.a having your affair, you've just lost another 20 minutes of your life, a life that, for the most part, you never have enough time for. To get that coffee, catch up with your mum, play with the kids, eat with the family, exercise, do the lawns, talk to your neighbour - work!

One in two Kiwis are on social media but more than half of them say they don't care about it. Ah the mistress, used but never loved.

A mate of mine posted "see you in 2014, I'm taking a year off Facebook, it's too negative and it's bringing me down."

But he'll be back to the relationship. Like an addict he needs his fix, he can't miss out, miss out on what? Life, other people's.

It's my choice to be on social media, so in your Face . . . Book, I don't need you, you need me CLICK.

Scott Radovanovich on Classic Hits

The Marlborough Express