When someone online lobs you an eye-poppingly idiotic question, you can: a) take a deep breath, mutter some swear words and ignore it; b) politely answer, because hey, idiots need help too; or c) GO TO WAR AND TEAR THE IDIOT APART - IN CAPITAL LETTERS!
The seller of a 1996 Bronco Ford Eddie Bauer chose option c.
The Bronco's owner had put the vehicle on eBay with a buy price of $US25,000 ($31,000). In the product listing he put:
Please Know That I Am Not A Dealer And Will Not Finance This Vehicle. You Must Have Your Cash Or Financing In Place If You Purchase This Vehicle. By Using The Buy It Now Or Make Offer, You Are Entering Into A Legal And Binding Contract.
He'd obviously been fielding a lot of odd questions from people who had clearly not read his ad when someone made this jaw-dropping offer:
Q: Hello, I'm interested in your bronco. I'm worried about financing though because of the model year, can't get a bank loan on a car this old. Would you consider $9000, I think I could pull that off.
A vein must have popped because the seller went to town on the bidder. Here's his nuclear-grade reply:
"A: Ladies and gentlemen for your reading pleasure. This is how I answer a remarkably stupid question, please enjoy. Let me see if I have this correctly. You want me to sell you my Bronco that has a buy it now price of $25,500.00 for $9,000.00. Because the most you think that you could pull off is $9,000.00. You must be a 20 something, in need of rehab, or are mentelly deficient. You obviously didn't read the entire listing. That states and I quote " you must have your cash or financing in place if you purchase this vehicle". Whatever made you think that I would consider dropping my price by almost 65%. when other Bronco's with twice the mileage are selling between $13,000.00 and $17,000.00. It's time for you to have a reality check. Not everyone is a winner. Not everyone gets a trophy, and just because you want something doesn't mean that you can have it. I hope that this isn"t to subtle for you to comprehend. But if it is the answer is NO $9,000.00 won't buy the Bronco. I have been getting some interesting questions about my Bronco. Most from people, who for some reason can"t understand or fully read this listing. So I will attempt to answer for those individuals that lack the capacity to understand. I ask that those of you who do understand to forgive my indulgence. NO I AM NOT A DEALER ( READ THE LISTING ) NO I WILL NOT FINANCE THE BRONCO ( READ THE LISTING ) NO I WILL NOT SELL YOU THE CARGO COVER. NO I WILL NOT SELL YOU THE SPARE TIRE COVER. NO I WILL NOT SELL YOU THE EDDIE BAUER FLOOR MATS. THE BRONCO IS BEING SOLD ENTIRELY COMPLETE! MY APOLOGIES IF I HAVE OFFENDED ANY REAL Ebay USER. BUT SERIOUSLY IF YOU CAN'T BUY A CLUE, HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO BUY ANYTHING ON Ebay."
The car eventually sold for $24,500, although you can imagine the seller would have been quite sheepish about his epic burn if he didn't get close to his asking price.
- © Fairfax NZ News
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