Destiny Church 'split us up'

BY JARED SMITH

Three Taranaki men claim the Destiny Church has broken up their marriages.

The three, all former members, left after refusing to make a covenant oath to church leader Brian Tamaki declaring him the "spiritual father" and "king".

They say church officials worked to split them from their wives, who remain members.

Taranaki pastors Lee and Robyn Edmonds referred inquiries from the Taranaki Daily News to a national spokeswoman.

But a Destiny representative last night called the matters "a domestic issue" and part of the "mudslinging" which goes on between separated couples.

It would never be church policy to separate congregation members from partners who leave, she said.

And one of the wives spoken to by the Taranaki Daily News said the church had nothing to do with the separation from her husband.

Stratford's Ben Evans, 28, said he has not been able to speak to his wife of five years, Amanda, about anything other than financial matters in three months.

His separated partner works with Mrs Edmonds as a social worker in New Plymouth.

Mr Evans said problems started when he walked out of a conference in Auckland after observing "pressure, group hysteria".

"I distinctly remember Pastor Lee catching me in the hall and saying, 'it's all right Ben, we'll look after your wife'.

"She started shutting down to me, emotionally and withdrawn.

"She was arguing with me about Destiny Church on such a regular basis, she ended up saying `no, that's it' and she wasn't going to be talking to me at all."

Mr Evans said while the pastors were friendly on a personal basis, they would then preach from the pulpit that those who left Destiny were not going to heaven.

The weekend his wife left him, Mr Evans said he visited Mr Edmonds.

"He passed on the ultimatum which was either I became a covenant member under Bishop Brian in Destiny Church, or I was going to lose my wife."

Mr Evans said if the church had not entered their lives, they would still be together.

"Without a doubt, absolutely certainly.

"We had some minor issues, but absolutely nothing out of a normal relationship."

When contacted, Mrs Evans said legal advice meant she could not address the whole issue.

"I separated from Ben, it really had nothing to do with Destiny Church."

"We sought help outside the church – help that was of his choosing."

New Plymouth's Glen Lovegrove, with Destiny six years, says he is struggling to hold his 18-year marriage together for his wife and seven children.

"It's like walking on eggshells, all the time," he said.

Mr Lovegrove said when he prevented his wife from taking the children to a church conference in Auckland last weekend, his wife called in church help.

"Pastor Robyn had her son and son-in-law come and stand guard outside the property," Mr Lovegrove said.

"She sees it that when I talk against the church, I talk against her. That's how they programme you."

The third New Plymouth man cannot be named as he and his wife are currently in the Family Court regarding custody of their children.

"I found about a year go that my marriage wasn't as solid as I thought it was, that it was purely on compliance with Destiny," he said.

"Any problems she'd go to them to deal with – she'd turn to the church rather than her husband.

"In the end, my wife told me that Destiny was her family, full stop.

"We have transcripts, Ben and I, where they actually preached that if the husbands didn't covenant they were selling their wives short in the marriage, and get rid of them."

Destiny media representative Janine Cardno said the church had no policy to undermine couples if one partner wished to leave, or pressure wives to force husbands to covenant.

"Never, I would be shocked to hear that. We're in the business of restoring marriages, not splitting people."

"Not everyone in the church is into it [covenant], it's purely an optional thing. A covenant would never do that. We have men who are not on it and they are happy.

"It's really sad to hear that, but there are far deeper issues."

- © Fairfax NZ News