Visiting leader says time for church to acknowledge abuse

Pope Benedict's apology to people who have been abused by clergy is an opportunity for Catholic churches worldwide to take responsibility for people abused under their care, a visiting expert says.

During his visit to the United States last week the Pope said he was "deeply ashamed" over sexual abuse within the church and vowed to do everything possible to avoid a repeat.

Christchurch's own sexual abuse scandal erupted more than five years ago when allegations surfaced against Catholic brotherhood St John of God.

The accused brothers worked at Marylands, a Christchurch residential school for boys with intellectual and learning disabilities run by St John of God until 1984.

United States psychotherapist Mike Lew is in Christchurch to lead a weekend retreat with the Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse Trust (MSSAT).

He said the Pope's words were a great opportunity for the church to finally take responsibility for the sexual abuse scandals that have rocked New Zealand and other parts of the world.

"Whether it's truly going to be a good thing is whether there's actions following the words.

"It's wonderful to hear apologies, but if it's not linked to some action it's empty," he said.

Lew has been working with male sexual abuse survivors for more than 30 years. After an appearance on Oprah to discuss his work in 1987 -- the first time a network show had aired the controversial issue -- he was offered the chance to write a book.

Victims No Longer was published the following year, spawning male victim support groups around the US and the world.

Lew wanted the church to take steps to ensure children in parishes were safe, to deal openly with survivors of clergy abuse and provide services for victims.

Survivors were often accused of "going after the church for the money", but most he met simply wanted acknowledgement and assurances that the cycle of abuse would stop, he said.

Homosexuality had been blamed for clergy abuse, but the majority of abusers were heterosexual.

"A man abusing a boy is no more a gay relationship than a man abusing a girl is a heterosexual relationship," Lew said.

"Gay priests have been a convenient scapegoat for the church and that's got to turn around," he said.

Lew said any closed institution with an unchallenged hierachy could have an abuse problem.

"The iceberg has broken open in parts of the States, Europe, Australia and New Zealand, but it hasn't touched Latin America and Africa which have large Catholic populations."

Lew said men abused by clergy were unique because of the extra element of religion.

"The priest is meant to be a direct representative of God, so the child feels like they are being abused by God. They think `How bad must I be if even God is abusing me?"'

Victims also met with a lot of trouble being believed and were sometimes punished for speaking about the abuse, he said.

"There's a lot of denial about male victims and fear about the topic still."

He praised women as the pioneers of bringing sexual abuse into the open and creating an environment where people could speak out about the issue.

Abuse left untreated led to broken relationships and often to drugs or alcohol to numb the pain.

Huge numbers of victims also ended up in mental institutions or prison, he said.

Lew believed that scandals surrounding predatory Catholic priests meant numbers going into seminaries were declining.

Churches were increasingly looking towards developing countries to fill their ranks, he said.

Meanwhile groups working to help male survivors of sexual abuse were universally underfunded.

Christchurch trust MSSAT almost closed last year because of lack of funding.

Manager Ken Clearwater said Ruth Dyson had taken an interest in the trust's work and he was confident of gaining support in the Government's next funding round.

He hoped the Pope's words would encourage the church to open up and let abuse victims tell their stories.

"Men here whose abusers were within the church were quite surprised that he (the Pope) was so open about the apology.

"Now they are saying `What is the Catholic Church going to do here in New Zealand?"'

Catholic Communications director Lyndsay Freer said accusations of sexual abuse were handled openly in New Zealand.

"In light of our experience in this area we have very robust and open and transparent procedures for complaints of sexual abuse."

If there was substance to a complaint the priest was removed from the parish while an investigation was carried out.

- © Fairfax NZ News