Slip-ups, wit make one-liners of year

00:46, Dec 27 2011
Ghost Chips
LIGHTER SIDE: NZTA's latest anti-drink drive advert uses humour to drive the message home. The line "bro, you know I can't grab your ghost chips" has become a hit.

Perhaps re-elected MP John Banks was internalising a really complicated situation in his head when he told a television programme young Polynesians and Maori from South Auckland were expected to come through his Epsom window.

The politician's racial howler made it to No. 7 in this year's top 10 New Zealand memorable quotes.

The one-liners, a mixture of poise, class and brainlessness, were decided by votes in a Massey University survey.

No. 1 is the classic from a drink-driving ad: "I've been internalising a really complicated situation in my head."

Now a staple at every boozy function, it probably serves its purpose.

No. 2 on the list is also from the same ad: "You know I can't grab your ghost chips."

Christchurch Mayor Bob Parker makes the list with one of his many quotes about neighbours helping neighbours.

Not surprising for an election year, politicians dominate the list.

Former ACT party marketing director John Ansell snuck in as well with: "These guys have gone from the Stone Age to the Space Age in 150 years and haven't said thanks."

He was talking about Maori.

Ansell resigned shortly afterwards.

"Naturally, I finished my set," came in at No. 8. Cameron Leslie apologised for this comment in the aftermath of the Norwegian massacre.


1: "I've been internalising a really complicated situation in my head." Actor Darcey-Ray Flavell in the drink-driving ad where a young man is pondering the arguments for and against telling his friend not to drive.

2: "You know I can't grab your ghost chips." From the same ad.

3: "Government is not there to make your life a better place necessarily." National MP David Bennett.

4: "To have a cellphone, a dog and a ute." Building and Construction Minister Maurice Williamson on all a person needs to claim to be a builder.

5: "The real story of what has happened in Christchurch is the heroic story at the grass roots level, which is neighbour working with neighbour." Mayor Bob Parker's speech to the Christchurch City Council.

6: "The Government has banned Fijian rugby players with military connections, criminal convictions, or who are competitive at the breakdown." Jeremy Corbett on TV3 show 7Days.

7: "If we continue the bankrupt response of just paying young Polynesian, young Maori men in South Auckland, the dole to sit in front of TV, smoke marijuana, watch pornography and plan more drug offending, more burglaries, then we are going to have them coming through our window regardless if we live in Epsom or anywhere else in the greater Auckland." The ACT party's sole MP John Banks being interviewed by Sean Plunket on The Nation.

8: "Naturally, I finished my set." Sales representative Cameron Leslie who was at a gym in Oslo, Norway, when a fatal bomb went off 50 metres away, recalls the incident to John Campbell on Campbell Live.

9: "It's my heart Craig, not my gonads." Rhys Darby's character Doug in the film Lovebirds.

10: "These guys have gone from the Stone Age to the space age in 150 years, and haven't said thanks." ACT party marketing director John Ansell, speaking about Maori.


The Dominion Post