Canadian man pranks Christchurch golf club with secret swingers group email
If you're stuck on an email list you can't get off, what do you do? Concoct a story about a secret sex group and prank everyone, of course.
At least, that's how a Canadian man finally may have received his last email from the Russley Golf Club in Christchurch, New Zealand.
Ian Campbell found his way onto the mailing list for Russley's Friday Golf Group by having a similar email address to a namesake member.
A single full stop was all that separated them.
Campbell, who runs a home meal service for the elderly in Toronto, wrote to the club three times asking to be removed. No dice.
Last week, when the details for Friday's competition pinged his inbox , it was the final straw.
Pausing only to conduct some formidable research into the North Canterbury swinger scene, he hit "reply all" and wrote back:
"Just a quick note to our 'Russley Rounders"; as we did this time last year, a few of us will be meeting up at Tawse Manor around 7pm (after a few pints to loosen up at the 19th hole, of course!!!).
"Last year we had a lot of trouble squeezing 14 people into only two rooms, so this year we have reserved all four rooms and will have the whole manor to ourselves (with the exception of the Play Room from 11pm to 2am, when it is reserved for the Tawse Kink group)."
Tawse Manor is an "alternative" homestay at Swannanoa, north of Christchurch, which hosts regular swinger parties and encourages guests to "unlock their desires".
Campbell went on: "We will be organising car pools from the golf course, so please let me know A.S.A.P. if you will be attending. This year we are keeping it to a maximum of four per room (and couples will be split up this time – we don't need a repeat of last year's fiasco!!!).
"The first sixteen to reply will be in - the total cost for the rooms is $1040, so about $65 each (and as always condoms, lube and bathrobes are provided free of charge). For those staying until breakfast, the Manor serves full English for $20, and a taxi back in to Christchurch is about the same.
"Look forward to some more "yellow balls" (on and off the course, wink wink)."
Good hoax. Some American English spelling in there, but sprinkled with the right details. At Tawse Manor, if four people rent four rooms, the cost, including add-ons, total $1040. Tawse Manor's website describes a "play space". Gowns, condoms and lube are, indeed, complimentary. The manor serves breakfast and offers a $20 airport transfer.
If such a group existed, would "Russley Rounders" be the most ridiculous name for it?
It threw the club member who sent the original email: "Ian thanks for your note BUT I (and others) have no idea what you are alluding to re. Russley Rounders ?" he replied.
"Our FRIDAY GOLF GROUP competition on Friday 21 April is for our normal and regular participants. I am sure your comments etc are not related to this."
Campbell wasted no time responding: "Sorry [name removed], I wasn't very discrete [sic], but I didn't realize my email was set to "reply all", I meant to include only our Rounders group. I've fixed it now so we won't have the same email slip-up again. I realize that not everyone in the Friday Golf Group is privy to our extra-curricular activities at the Russley Rounders, and may not approve. Although at our last get together I do seem to remember someone saying we needed new blood, and we should open up the membership ranks a bit, especially to the ladies."
Finally, the reveal:
"TAKE ME OFF YOUR GODDAMN LIST [name removed]. Three times now I've written to the senders of these emails asking to be removed from the mailing list. I'm not the Ian Campbell you're thinking of, ok? All you have to do is remove my specific email address from your list and I will stop getting notices about your golf club on the other side of the world."
Still the ruse persisted. Two hours after Campbell outed himself, Russley's men's club captain emailed the Friday Golf Group apologising.
"I have been at Russley for 28 years and am unaware of the existence of such a group ... Our group's e-mail list should never be used for anything other than our Russley Friday Group notices and any embarrassment caused by you receiving this e-mail is deeply regretted. The author of the e-mail has not played in the Friday Group for several years."
The Canadian Ian Campbell could not be reached for comment. His email address appears on the website for a business called Nourishing Seniors, which visits elderly people in their homes in Toronto and cooks them dinner. Tawse Manor confirmed they had no four-room booking for Friday night.
Russley has wised up. In a statement, board chairman Bob Macgregor confirmed a second Ian Campbell was mistakenly included in the Friday Group mailing list.
"That person has decided to have some fun and sent a smart arse response which [implied] that there was a small "group" within our Friday Group of golfers who I can confirm play golf each Friday at the club.
"The inference that there is a group of "swingers" is ludicrous – in fact many are of an age where swinging the golf club is exercise enough. To infer otherwise is stupidity in the extreme."