Love languages
Well, Valentine's Day is here again and it's got me thinking about love, romance and keeping not just the spark but the relationship alive! I like Dr Gary Chapman's concept of The Five Love Languages. He acknowledges that people express love in different languages including: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
According to Gary: "Learn to speak and understand your mate's love language, and in no time you will be able to effectively love and truly feel loved in return. Skillful communication is within your grasp!"
For me the key to a happy relationship is what I like to call "offer and suggestion". This involves the simple yet frequent question "what can I do to help?" (offer) and suggestions such as "why don't I (look after the kids/do the dishes etc) so you can have a nap/free time/read a book etc".
I s'pose I would call these acts of kindness (rather than service) and I'm pretty sure many woman would have massage, nap and bath on their wish list -not just for special holidays like Valentine's or birthdays but on an on-going basis! Quality time is another biggie for me and we aim for (but don't always achieve) one "date" a month. I have friends who have one weekend get-away per month while gran looks after their daughter -amazing!!
Being a believer in prevention rather than cure I was intrigued by the books Why Men Cheat and Secrets of a Happy Marriage. According to Secrets of a Happy Marriage, a long-lasting, happy marriage is about "knowing your partner, being supportive, and being nice" and that "for every one negative thing you do, there must be five positive things that balance it out".
At a wedding recently we started to discuss why some marriages end and as a friend simply put it: "Couples become too busy and too tired to treat each other nicely." Sad but true! Of course break ups are often more complex than that, but it's a pretty good recipe for a relationship meltdown unless on-going TLC is applied. So, while an annual box of chockies or bouquet of flowers is romantic, love (like a garden) needs constant care.
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justice, they just need to rename this "the big blog for hippies and other new age travellers". It has been awhile since anything like discussions about the environment have been on here. "memory trees", "happy state of mind" now "love languages" - I guess next week it will be "karmic knitting" or something along those lines!
I think it is wonderful to see some discussions on the importance of sustaining positive relationships. If we can raise children in loving, sensitive families who have passed on their respect for the environment to the next generation, then surely this benefits the future of our planet. No one would dispute the need for serious discussions relating to the environment, but equally I feel the more personal blogs relating to people just as important. It is necessary to make a difference closer to home. As for the two previous comments - if you don't like the blog, move on and find one you do. Simple.
I agree with Julie. While we discuss protecting and respecting the environment, is it not relevant to discuss protecting and respecting humans who live in the environment? Once we have established respectful relationships with each other, respecting the environment becomes a no brainer.
Jude & Julie, As the subject matter lately on this blog has become more suited to a "womans weekly" I can see why you both are so interested. If it does not soon return to what it is supposed to discuss then I see no reason to call it an "eco-centric" blog. How about the "fluff" blog instead?
Hi everyone! Ta Julie & Jude for your support! Justice & Ugly, Matt and I were having a similar discussion the other day re what is deemed 'eco'. As you've probably gathered from the range of topics over the past 1.5 years to us 'eco' is holistic not just trees and air. So that includes relationships, values etc. Blog topics and guest blog ideas always welcome! Nat
That's so funny Justice! You are one in a million. Quite proud to say I have never brought a "Woman's Weekly" or any such magazine in my entire life. But from what I have heard its full of celebrity trash and meaningless gossip -so I think your comparison to that and Nat and Matt's blog is stretching it a bit, even for such a dedicated complainer as yourself.
Lets encourage discussion that is broad and relates to many issues today, whether it is people or the planet - it's called balance.
"to us ‘eco’ is holistic not just trees and air."
So you admit it's some sort of "religion" your promoting Natalie?
'eco' isn't just a prefix meaning 'going without' - it's about being cool, credible and life-enhancing. It's about doing their best, not just their bit, for the environment.
How "uncool & "uncredible" this has all become. bye bye.
As you’ve probably gathered from the range of topics over the past 1.5 years to us ‘eco’ is holistic not just trees and air. So that includes relationships, values etc. Blog topics and guest blog ideas always welcome! Nat Comment by Natalie Cutler-Welsh — 17 February 2009 @ 8:33 pm
Just be honest! youve run out of steam and valid subject matter relating to the "environment". Time to call it quits maybe eh?
Not quite justice - I think it is more "we have exhausted our rather minimal knowledge about the environment and people keep bringing up awkward questions about science and stuff while we just want to be trendy". "Eco" is a problem in itself and therein lies the issue - is this about the environment or a lifestyle that is about giving people the right impression? In the last 10 years "Eco" seems to have moved violently into the latter.
As someone who works in the ecology / conservation sector (for at least part of my work) this is extremely frustrating as it often undermines our work in the eyes of the public.
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What part of this blog is 'eco" related? To even metion Vday means you have drunk some of the commercial "cool aid".