Meeting with attacker delivers justice

Carol Coleman wanted the teenage thug who nearly killed her son with a hammer locked up behind bars and left to rot.

The high school teacher was angry, bitter and wanted retribution for her son, Blake, 19, who was attacked after approaching a group of teens drinking in The Square on a Saturday night in August.

For his concern, he was met with an angry response.

He turned his back and walked away.

Seconds later, one of the teens swung a hammer at Blake's head which ripped open his forehead.

Blood gushed everywhere as his mates helped him move towards the road, where a passing police paddywagon stopped to take him to hospital.

Nine stitches held the gash together and the Palmerston North man now has a severe scar.

A 15-year-old boy was arrested for the assault and appeared in the Palmerston North Youth Court.

The judge recommended a family group conference which enraged the Colemans.

"It took us a while to come to grips that he would not get sent to jail," Mrs Coleman said.

They didn't see how the conference could hand down a punishment to match the crime.

"You don't casually hit someone in the head with a hammer."

Sitting in a circle chatting seemed like a "soft" way to deal with such a serious assault, Mrs Coleman said.

On the way to the conference the Colemans were worried justice wouldn't prevail.

"We were still very, very cynical going into it because we were told it was our chance to listen to him and get to know him, but we didn't really know how to react to that.

"He really came up against a brick wall but after three hours we had all turned around completely."

Blake had his mum, dad, stepmother, sisters, aunties, uncles and nana at the conference supporting him. The boy had his mum and sister.

"When we met him face to face we realised he needed that chance," Mrs Coleman said.

"It was really, really powerful."

At the outset of the conference everyone introduced themselves.

Then Blake's dad, John, spoke on behalf of his son and family.

"He told him to sit up and listen to what I'm going to say to you."

The boy sat up straight and looked Mr Coleman in the eye which was the turning point, Mrs Coleman said.

"He wasn't belligerent, cheeky or snarling, as we expected."

Mr Coleman's main message was that an attack doesn't just affect the victim, it affects the surrounding family.

Then the boy apologised.

"I said to him, 'you nearly killed my son', he looked me in the eye and said, 'I know, I'm really sorry'."

Blake plucked up the courage to ask what he had done to provoke the attack.

The boy answered: "Absolutely nothing", Mrs Coleman said.

"Once Blake did that his whole body just relaxed."

The conference was incredibly healing and empowering for both the offender and victim, Mrs Coleman said.

"This process gives them the chance to face up to what they've done.

"I just feel for victims who don't get to face the perpetrator and get to say what they need to say and get the answers that they need to get."

The Colemans realised the boy would not gain a thing from going to prison and mixing with hardened criminals.

"He's not violent, he's just lost and had no idea how to behave."

After passing on their recommendations, they left the room at Te Manawa and a 12-month plan was formulated.

"We came back in and tweaked it until we were happy."

Then it was time to say their goodbyes.

Blake was the first person to cross the circle and shake the boy's hand.

His nana, who was seething before the conference, gave the boy a heartfelt hug.

The Colemans also sat in the gallery when a youth court judge signed off the plan.

"It was really sad when he [the boy] turned around and thanked us for coming. I would never even have predicted that."

Blake and his family are looking forward to meeting the boy again in February.

"If he succeeds in what we've challenged him with, which is quite hard, then we will feel that Blake's injury has been compensated for, much more so that locking him in jail and letting him rot."

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