Man abused schoolgirls he met online

BY DAVE BURGESS

An online predator used social networking site Bebo to prey on schoolgirls, sexually abusing two he befriended through the internet.

Police said the pool of potential victims was growing by the day as more children turned to social networking sites and showed the ease with which predators could strike.

Douglas Charles Segetin, 23, was sentenced in Wellington District Court after pleading guilty to three charges of unlawful sexual connection with underage girls.

Both Wellington girls were 14 when the offences took place in April and July last year.

Police E-Crime manager Maarten Kleintjes said sexual predators were stalking victims on Bebo, which was popular with teenage girls.

"They can do it from the comfort of their own home and stalk anyone they meet on the internet. It makes the possible victim pool a lot larger," Mr Kleintjes said.

Judge Susan Thomas said in court that Segetin met his first victim through Bebo. On April 25 he picked her up and drove her to an isolated spot near the Hutt River, where he smoked cannabis. Later he sexually assaulted her. The next day he took her to another area where they had sexual intercourse in his car.

Segetin also met the second girl on Bebo. On July 4 he went with her to a bottle store before driving to Kaitoke Regional Park. He then took the girl to a secluded area at the Hutt River.

"At this stage the girl was extremely intoxicated. Sexual intercourse then took place," Judge Thomas said. "You knew she was just 14 and went to college."

Segetin was sentenced to 12 months' home detention, community work of 150 hours, and ordered to pay reparation totalling $4500. He must live with his parents and is not allowed to have a computer or mobile phone that can access the internet.

He is also banned from associating with anyone under the age of 15 without permission from his parole officer and must complete a comprehensive rehabilitation programme for sexual offenders.

One of his victims told The Dominion Post she was disappointed with the sentence.

"Just because he has home detention doesn't mean anything. He will just be able to go out and do it again."

Her mother also had doubts about the sentence.

"If I had a guarantee that he would never do this to anyone else then I'm happy. But if I find that he does this again once his home detention is finished, then I would be gutted.

"I don't want anyone else's family to go through this."

She also doubted Segetin's use of the internet during his detention period could be monitored.

VICTIM IMPACT STATEMENT FROM THE 14-YEAR-OLD VICTIM

I feel angry, disgusted and dirty whenever he comes to my mind, which is almost always more than once a day.

I was always that out-going, fun-loving, crazy girl. I would go out, go to friends' houses, birthdays, sleepovers, but now everything is different. Changed. You robbed me of it. Of my personality, my faith and trust in people and my courage.

I often turned to self harm because that was the only way I felt in control. It was my body. I could relieve anger and stress and other stuff. Even to this day I still struggle with trying not to do it.

Other days when its really bad all I can do is cry and think of the most horrible ways I could end my life because I just want everything to be over with. I just want the old me back.

I hate myself. I felt I deserved it. But mother and my fantastic counsellor/friend, they helped me realise it wasn't my fault. I didn't ask for this. I am not a bad person.

Imagine what it would be like to be too afraid, too afraid to leave your own house let alone your bedroom, to feel all this shame.

I lost contact with my friends, worst of all. I lost my best friend. Remember her?

It's sad how I can't even catch the bus or train. I still only feel partially safe around mother and it hurts her. Because she has to stay strong and be there for me. Even when she can't.

It hurts my father too. I used to go up and stay with him for a week every fortnight. I haven't stayed there for nearly a year.

It hurts me. Did you ever think of how much pain, sadness, anger, guilt and grief you would cause?

I want to cut you open just like you did to me. It wasn't physically, it was mentally and emotionally. I just want you to hurt like I hurt. Feel what I feel.

When I look in the mirror I see this ugly, sad, damaged girl looking back.

A little while ago I would turn to alcohol and get drunk at least once a week. I love the feeling. I feel numb and nothing can hurt me. It's like I'm invisible.

But even that's been taken from me. I don't have any way of realising my feelings, everything just gets bottled up. That's the way I'm used to it. I don't like to share my personal life with anybody.

I just hope and wish with all of my heart that someday I will get over this without too much permanent damage, for instance my depression and Post Traumatic Stress might go away. I don't want to be that 'freaky emo' girl the rest of my life.

But there is a will there is a way. I will not stop until it kills me.

I just hope this whole thing never leaves you. I hope you think about it every day like I do. I hope this stays with you until you rot six feet deep.

VICTIM IMPACT STATEMENT MUM OF 14-YEAR-OLD

Saturday 4th July 2009 will be a day that will never be forgotten for me, [my daughter], her dad, step dad, step mum, brothers, Nana, Grandad and many others, your family included.

It's not a day of happiness but a day that you made a reality, the worst possible fear a parent has for their daughter.

This was the ultimate violation; you took advantage of her trusting, loving and outgoing nature. I long to see those things return to her, she is not the same girl she was before that horrible day.

I spent many days not being able to go home from work because of the state I was in. I didn't want [my daughter] to see me crying, and I needed to be strong for her at that point. I was her rock, home needed to be as safe as possible, and full of positivity and strength because she didn't have any.

At the time she needed me most I was strong on the outside and a wreck on the inside. I hated seeing her so vulnerable. That's not the [daughter] I know.

You almost cost me my daughter. [She] turned 15 in October. I was so happy she got there, at one point it looked like she didn't want to. ... She couldn't get your face out of her head, the smell of your cigarette smoke, the colour of your teeth and the feat of going to court was terrifying her.

She knew she needed to go through with court so this didn't happen to anybody else but at the same time she just wanted it to go away.

She now has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder but is getting better by the day thanks to her counsellor and time and her own determination to not let this shape the rest of her life.

You have left a lasting impression on my girl but it's not a nice one. These are the three things you taught her that day.

You taught her shame – she didn't leave her bedroom for a week, she couldn't look anybody in the face.

You taught her fear – and many forms of it – she wasn't able to leave the house for months without me, nor did she go and stay at her dads for months because she was too scared to sleep in another house.

The nightmares were all consuming and she was scared. They still continue to this day. She is terrified of seeing you in court today.

She finally spent her first night away from homeover Christmas, she was brave enough to do this because she figured with it being another city the chances of running into you would be less.

She managed to get really brave in January to catch the train one stop from our house to go and see her counsellor. This was the first time she went out on her own. Unfortunately on the way home she saw a black Levin just like your car she was in on the day.

I happened to be talking to her on the phone when she was walking home. She became hysterical because she thought it was you. She didn't want to catch the train again.

You taught her self-doubt – do you have any idea how much self-doubt teenage girls have anyway without it being slammed in their face by people like you? She has spent months condemning herself for what happened that day.

She shouldn't have got in you car. She shouldn't have drunk the alcohol that you purchased and she shouldn't have been so trusting.

[She] is very aware of her poor choices that day and she has to live with those but she wasn't expecting what you did to happen. I suppose it's the hard way to learn. Those are her demons and she has to live with them.

Thankfully for her she has very sketchy recollection of what actually occurred at the moment you took her to the river in your car and decided it was quite fine to have sex with a very drunk 14-year-old girl.

I'm glad for her that she can't remember. Maybe this will make the nightmares go away earlier.

She couldn't have hidden from us what had happened if she wanted to but she also didn't want to talk about it and to this day doesn't.

You taught me one thing that day – you taught me to hate. I have never hated anyone or anything in my life as much as I hate you for what you did. [She] didn't have any shame, fear or self-doubt before then which is exactly why it was so easy for you to do what you did.

We spent four hours at the Sexual Abuse Clinic that night. She was given many medications to take over the next week for all kinds of STDs.

I had to explain to her what they were for the next day. I hate you for that too. She shouldn't have been in that situation.

After today we will move on and get this ugly period away from our lives. I have no doubt in my mind that the [girl] we all knew will be back bigger and stronger than every.

There will be some good come out of this. At the moment we can't see it but I know its there.

Perhaps it is just that because of my daughter being brave enough to go through with this you won't get the chance to do this to anybody else.

I hope all these negative emotions leave my daughter soon and that they leave me too but my biggest hope for you is that you have learnt that this is not OK to do this to young girls.

The law is there for a reason. Please abide by it and don't put anybody else's family through this. At the very least [my daughter] is owed an apology from you.

- © Fairfax NZ News