Annoyed at #104 and others Hey - guess what - you can do arts and craft acitivities for no money at home - but no, you probably don't want to get paint on your 20,000 new white carpet eh? Looking after your own kids can be very cheap and easy if yo umake your own activities and food.

Aaron #101 - if you and your wife have worked so hard for 16+ years, including in the forces (where you have few expenses) - how come you have no money?

To ALL the parents trying to make themselves feel less guilty by saying "yes, my kids love daycare" how exactly does a baby or child under 2 tell you this? Just because they don't cry when you leave them does not mean they are terrified, lost and confused.

Oh yes - and how can anyone be stupid enough to have a small house in a crappy suburb in Christchurch and be paying 400+ a week?? It's not about the economic climate - it's about greed and poor financial planning

What a beat up, is this newspaper going tabloid? Both of our children started day care at approx. 7 months old doing 3 days per week (weaned themselves of breastfeeding about a month earlier). They are in high quality care with good child to carer ratios, and they are passing all of their milestones. Our 3 y.o. is doing really well having just completed a year of 3 y.o. kindergarten offered by the day care centre. Better that they be in a stimulating environment with qualified carers vs. parked in front of the TV at home. I am not suggesting that everyone at home does this, but if this is the situation in some homes, then why make blanket statements about how bad all child care is.

There are countless different ways to raise a happy and healthy child. There doesn't have to be just one right way. I say focus on those children that aren't being raised healthy and happy.

Glenn #73 - W T F ? Yes - a mortgage - ie a roof over our (and our children's) head. What are you suggesting ? that we live in cardboard boxes on the street ? I really hope you were taking the p!ss with that comment . . .

Im a caregiver to two children under one myself. they are both from different families and the families and I have a fantastic relationship, we communicate and trust each other to bring up the little ones to be fantastic, happy and secure people. They are never distressed and obviously feel comfortable and bonded to all of us, even each other. Whats wrong with having more people to care for your child as you would if necessary?

It has nothing to do with parents who dont WANT to parent their kids - These daycare centres arent cheap espically when it is more than one child. My 4 kids ALL attend daycare part time during the day - i work only in evenings, Why - Because i have a 2yo son and 1yo triplets, I would like to see anyone go pay bills and do groceries with 4 under 2s. Also its godo for them a few hours a week to be out of the house interacting with other children playing with things like playdo and paint and getting it everywhere and having a sandpit and donig what kids do best - PLAY. I love all my children and i cant help the fact i had triplets ( with no additional medical help i might add) I do it for a few hours a week sanity to fold the washing without someone climbing on it, to have a coffee alone , I think the people on here who claim that mothers HAVE to stay home and HAVE to do everything are clearly living in the dark ages - Or they dont actually have their own kids. What about people who cant downsize houses - I cant downsize my van - as my children wont fit, Its not easy to sell a house these days anyway. And im positive there are other mothers out there that have children who attend daycare just to get that tiny bit of ME time that mothers never get - and i refuse to feel guilty for it

I consider my self extremely fortunate to be able to stay home and care for our son. We are not rich but I'm able to do this and my hubby supports this stance. If I had to go to work it would break me...really. I take my hat off to all the mummys and dads out there doing the hard yrads to keep their heads above water. Most of the talk about mortgage being more important than kids and feminism sounds like crap to a good old fashioned kiwi like myself. And to most people with commonsense we know that one has to work to eat and sleep under a roof. Good on you working parrents, its not bloody easy!!!

It makes me sad that I share the world with so many judgemental people - particularly when you consider that those judgements are being made without knowing anything about other people's individual circumstances.

To all you "if you can't stay at home, you can't afford kids" brigade. Get over yourselves.

Have you heard the expression "It takes a village to raise a child"? Parents haven't always raised children. That was left to the people who were good at it while the parents went out hunting, gathering, sewing, cleaning, etc.

Every caring adult your child comes into contact with does your child good. A much bigger problem than this is the parents who don't teach their kids to read and write.

Jezz, if you have children then be prepared to pay for the cost of care for them EVEN before the cost of your mortgage! Don't look for a benefits or someone to blame!. You made a commitment to that child, so if you cant afford the child and your lavish mortgages aswell then the choice is simple! Dump the mortgage. Life is becoming more expensive everyday only due to our own unrealistic expectations of material wealth which pushes inflation through the roof. This pushes the cost of living up and forces both parents into work even straight after birth in most cases now. Funny that no one complained about these foreseen issues when house prices skyrocketed

My nieces have been going to day care since they were at least 6 months old. They are both Confidient well rounded young ladies, who can hold perfect conversations, know how to interact with other children and are not socially awkward. They love day care and are sad when the are sick and aren't able to go because that means they miss out on playing with their friends and all the arts and crafts and learning activities they do. I can't believe some people are so stuck up their own a***'s and feel they have the right to tell other people how to raise their children.