Perfect Mike Hosking: Waitangi Day – so far from perfect

'Perfect' Mike Hosking says Waitangi house prices have been languishing since 1840.

'Perfect' Mike Hosking says Waitangi house prices have been languishing since 1840.

The Treaty was signed in Waitangi in 1840.  

And house prices in that part of the country have been languishing ever since.  I'm no economist, or journalist, but that's as perfect a case of economic cause and effect as you can get.

And as we count down to Waitangi Day this year so the usual moronic whining begins.  The Government hasn't done this; the Government hasn't done that.  

This year's vintage whine is that the government hasn't consulted with Maori over the TPP.  

As I've said repeatedly, despite being presented with clear evidence to the contrary by Professor Jane Kelsey, all trade deals are negotiated in secret. And you don't consult over secrets. It's like wearing socks with your Jimmy Choo loafers, you just don't do it.      

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So should John Key go to Waitangi? No, of course not. Why? Well forget the politics and consider the obvious point that the media consistently ignore.  

Waitangi is simply not an A-list event worthy of an A-list Prime Minister.  

There's no red carpet, no goodie bags and not a single fashion designer on the VIP list. And far from being a day of National or even national celebration, Waitangi Day has become an undignified and appallingly dressed whinge-fest: "It's not our fault we can't succeed - life's so unfair".

It's what a Paul Henry Show team meeting must be like.  Or what a Campbell Live team meeting used to be like.

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We need to stop the whining and start the celebrating of success stories of those people that ordinary hard-working Kiwis can best identify with – non-chardonnay wine makers, property and currency speculators, and award-winning breakfast radio hosts.

The Australians have got it right with Australia Day and race relations in general.  

I'm no constitutional expert, or journalist, but if you don't enter into a treaty with the indigenous people in the first place then they can't complain later on that you haven't held up your end of the bargain. It's perfectly simple constitutional law really. 

So naturally I avoid any possible association with Waitangi Day, which frighteningly was very nearly my birthday. I was due on February 6 so I self-caesared early to avoid having the gloss taken of a very important day for all New Zealanders by Waitangi Day.  

So the only whine you'll hear coming from my direction on Waitangi Day will be the perfect pitch of my handheld Dyson DC58 humming at 12,000 RPM as I engage in that celebrated Kiwi tradition of vacuuming the Ferrari in a leafy decile 10 suburb.

* Follow Perfect Mike on Twitter - @MikePerfectHosk

 - Sunday Star Times

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